The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Joan threw herself against the wall, but could make no impression upon
it, and she could only lament that among the French artillery there was
no mortar to be brought to bear upon the bricks of the city. She then
resorted to other steps--or, rather, to a ladder--and had reached every
successive round amid successive rounds of applause from her followers,
when she was stopped by a wound, which fairly knocked her over. A
friendly ditch received the disabled Joan, who went into it with a
splash, which caused all her companions to basely run away, lest they
should participate in the consequences of her downfall. Drenched and
disheartened, sobbing, and in a perfect sop, the Maid crawled out of the
ditch and lay down for a little while; but suddenly rising, and giving
herself a shake, she made another rush at the battlements. A few better
spirits, ashamed of seeing the weakest thus a second time going to the
wall, joined her in her advance, but, meeting with resistance, they
rolled back like a wave of the sea, almost swamping the Maid, and
carrying her violently away with them.
[Illustration: 294]
Joan's influence had now begun to decline, for, though a heroine is
popular as long as she succeeds, a woman who fails in her performance
of the part is always ridiculous. She had also lost the favour of the
soldiers by attacking them behind their backs, for she had flogged
them with the flat of her sword till she broke the blade over their
shoulders. They openly called her an impostor, a humbug, and a do; so
that, hurt in her feelings as well as in her neck, wounded alike in
mind and body, she resolved to quit the army. She even went to the Abbey
church, and, fixing up a clothes-line, hung her white armour before the
shrine of St. Denis. Charles supposed the articles had been put there to
dry after the soaking the Maid had experienced in the ditch, but when he
heard that Joan, as well as her coat of mail, was on the high ropes,
he determined to take her down a peg as gently as possible. She was
persuaded to prolong her stay, or, rather, to renew her engagement; and
though, even after her military _début_ at the siege of Orleans, she
had wished it to be her "positively last appearance on any ramparts,"
Charles had the satisfaction of announcing that she had in the
handsomest manner consented to remain in his company. A constant renewal
of an engagement will dim the attraction of the brightest star, and Joan
was evidently on the wane as a popular favourite.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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