The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
On the 2nd of May, as he was sailing between Dover and Calais, his
convoy--consisting of a smack and punt for self and retinue--was hailed
by a great hulking man-of-war from the hulks, which bore the name of
_Nicholas_ of the Tower. This was a sad blow to the little smack, which
would have gladly gone off had it not been most vigorously brought-to
by the larger vessel. The duke was ordered on board the _Nicholas_, and
after the ship had stood off and on for three days, it turned out
that the vessel was only waiting to take in an axe, a block, and an
executioner. This dismal addition to the freight having at last
arrived, it was immediately put in requisition, and, as Suffolk was very
unpopular, nobody took the trouble to inquire what had become of him.
The only account that could ever be given of him was that he had been
taken away by the crew of the _Nicholas_, which was a very old ship, and
the announcement that Suffolk had gone to Old Nick was all that was ever
said concerning him.
We are soon about to enter upon those Wars of the Roses which planted
so many thorns in the bosom of fair England. It is strange that out
of _couleur de rose_ should have emanated some of the most sombre and
melancholy hues that ever darkened the pages of our history. "Coming
events cast their shadows before," and the shade in this instance was
one Cade, familiarly called Jack Cade by various authorities. This
celebrated individual was a native of Ireland, who had served in
France in the English army, so that he may be called a kind of
Anglo-Irish-Frenchman, a combination that reminds us of the celebrated
poly-politician, who, being desirous of being thought "open to all
parties," with the vow of being ultimately influenced by one,
gave himself out as a conservative-whig-radical. Jack Cade was a
jack-of-all-trades, or, at all events, a jack of two, for he had been
a doctor first and a soldier afterwards. Some have ironically contended
that the change from a medical to a military life was only an extension
of the same business, and that, in resigning the bolus for the bullet,
the powders for the gunpowder, and the lancet for the sword, he was only
enlarging the sphere of his practice. With that remarkable deference
for the aristocracy they pretend to despise, which is only too common
amongst demagogues, Cade tried to claim relationship even with royalty,
and, giving himself out as a relation of the Duke of York, he assumed
the name of Mortimer.
That Cade was a decayed scion of an illustrious stock may be doubted,
and some, who have not been ashamed of an anachronism for the sake of a
sneer, have gone so far as to say that the Cades were the earliest cads
of which there are any records.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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