The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Athelstane died in the year 940, in his forty-seventh year, and was
succeeded by Edmund the Atheling, a youth of eighteen, whose taste for
elegance and splendour obtained for him the name of the Magnificent. He
gave very large dinner parties to his nobles, and at one of these his
eye fell upon one Leof, a notorious robber, returned from banishment,
one of the Saxon swell mob who had been transported, but had escaped;
and who, from some remissness on the part of the police, had obtained
admission to the palace. Edmund commanded the proper officer to turn him
out, but Leof--tempted no doubt by the sideboard of plate--insisted on
remaining at the banquet. Edmund, who, as the chroniclers tell us, was
heated by wine, jumped up from his seat, and forgetting the king in the
constable, seized Leof by his collar and his hair, intending to turn
him out neck and crop. Leof still refusing to "move on," the impetuous
Edmund commenced wrestling with the intruder, who, irritated at a sudden
and severe kick on his shins, drew a dagger from under his cloak, and
stabbed the sovereign in a vital part. The nobles, who had formed a
circle round the combatants, and had been encouraging their king with
shouts of "Bravo, Edmund!"
"Give it him, your majesty!" were so infuriated at the foul play of the
thief, and his un-English recourse to the knife, that they fell upon him
at once, and cut him literally to pieces.
[Illustration: 056]
Edred, the brother and successor of Edmund, though not twenty-three
years of age, was in a wretched state of health when he came to the
throne. He had lost his teeth, and of course had none to show when
threatened by his enemies; and he was so weak in the feet, that he
literally seemed to be without a leg to stand upon. Nevertheless he
succeeded in vanquishing the Danes, who could not hurt a hair of his
head; but, as the chroniclers tell us that every bit of his hair had
fallen off, his security in this respect is easily accounted for. The
vigour that marked his reign has, however, been attributed to Dunstan,
the abbot, who now began to figure as a political character.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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