The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Several cruelties disgraced the latter part of Edward's reign; and one
of the worst of his enormities was his treatment of Stacey and Burdett,
two officers of the household of the Duke of Clarence. Stacey was
accused of having dealings with the devil; but if he had, it was
only the printer's devil; for Stacey was a priest of the order of
Whitefriars, and learned in the typographic art, which had recently been
discovered. No proof unfavourable to Stacey could be produced, but he
was put to the torture by being made to set up night and day, which made
him curse the author of his misery. Thomas Burdett, another gentleman
of Clarence's household, was tried as an accomplice to Stacey, and these
unfortunate men, having had their heads cut off, "died," according to
the Chroniclers, "protesting their innocence." Clarence himself was the
next victim, and on the 16th of January, 1478, he was brought to the bar
of the House of Lords on a charge of having dealings with conjurors. It
seems hard, in these days, when tricks of magic are exceedingly
popular, that a person suspected of conjuring should be pursued with
the vengeance of the law; and the hardship of the affair is particularly
great in the case of Clarence, who was never known to make a
plum-pudding in his hat, or perform any other of the ingenious tricks
which have gained money and fame for the wizards of the present era. The
unfortunate duke met all the charges against him with a flat denial, but
he was found guilty, and sentence of death was passed upon him, on the
7th of February, 1478. His execution was never publicly carried out, and
rumour has accordingly been left to run riot among the thousand ways in
which Clarence might have undergone his capital punishment. The usual
mode of accounting for his death is by the suggestion, that his brothers
left the matter to his own choice, and that he preferred drowning in a
butt of Malmsey wine to any other fatal penalty. The only objection
to this arrangement appears to be that which occurred to an excellent
English king of modern times, when he wondered how the apple got into
the dumpling. However capacious the butt may have been in which Clarence
desired to be drowned, it is obvious that he never could have entered
the cask through its only aperture, the bunghole. When we witness the
marvel of an individual getting into a quart-bottle, we shall begin
to have faith in the story that Clarence met his death in the manner
alluded to. If the wine was already in the cask before Clarence was
immersed, there could have been no admission, even on business, except
through the bunghole, and it is not likely that the vessel could have
been empty before the duke took his place for the purpose of undergoing
a vinous shower-bath.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account