The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Richard now came to town, and summoned a Parliament, which was
exceedingly complaisant; declaring him the lawful sovereign, by birth,
by election, by coronation, by consecration, and by inheritance. Thus
the usual attempt was made to make up by quantity for the deficiency as
to quality in the title of the usurper, and the Princedom of Wales was
settled on his boy Edward. Attainders were dealt out pretty freely among
Richard's opponents, who were pronounced traitors in the usual form,
which was kept to be filled up with the name of the unsuccessful party;
while oaths of loyalty were always to be had--in blank--for the use of
that numerous class which followed the crown with the fidelity of
the needle to the pole,--the pole being the head that happened to be
wearing--_pro tem_.--the precious bauble.
Richard, being afraid that Richmond would gain strength by the project
of marriage with Elizabeth of York, determined on marrying the young
lady himself; an idea which both herself and her intriguing old
mother most indelicately jumped at. The king being already married,
difficulties arose, but it was proposed to poison Lady Anne, which,
as quack medicines had not been yet invented, was a somewhat difficult
process. There was no specific then in existence for curing every
disease, or the matter might have been arranged at once; nor had the
fatal art of punning become known, or Richard might have placed the
author of the triple _jeu de mot_ in attendance upon the Lady Anne, to
be, in time, the death of her. The quarrelsome and cat-like disposition
of this unhappy female may account for the tenacity of life which
she exhibited; and the young Elizabeth kept continually writing up to
inquire why the queen took so much time in dying. It was now the middle
of February, 1484, and Lady Anne was still alive; but her obstinacy was
soon cured by her husband, and in the course of March she was got rid
of. Richard immediately opened to his friends and admirers his scheme
for marrying Elizabeth; but they strongly opposed it, and he then
pretended that he had never meant anything of the sort, but that the
minx--for as such he stigmatised the young lady--had for some time
persisted in setting her cap at him.
[Illustration: 336]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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