The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
It has been said of Richard, that he would have been well qualified to
reign, had he been legally entitled to the throne; or, in other words,
that he would have been a good ruler if he had not been a bad sovereign.
To us this seems to savour of the old anomaly--a distinction without a
difference. He certainly carried humbug to the highest possible point,
for he exhibited it upon the throne, which serves as a platform to make
either vice or virtue--as the case may be--conspicuous.
The trick by which he obtained possession of his nephew, the young King
Edward, whose liberty was likely to prove a stumbling-block in Richard's
own path to the throne, is remarkable for its cunning, and for the
intimate knowledge it displayed of the juvenile character. Proceeding to
the residence of the baby monarch's mamma, he began asking after "little
Ned" with apparently the most affectionate interest. He had previously
provided himself with a lot of sweetstuff as he came along, for it was
his deep design to intoxicate with brandy-balls the head of the infant
sovereign. "Where is the little fellow?" inquired Richard, who would
take no excuse for his nephew not being produced, but declared that
being in no hurry, he could wait the convenience of the nursery
authorities. Finding further opposition useless, Elizabeth reluctantly
ordered the boy to be brought down, when Richard asked him "Whether
he would like to go with Uncle Dick?" and got favourable answers by
surreptitiously cramming the child's mouth with lollipops.
[Illustration: 349]
Whenever the little fellow was about to say "He would rather stay with
his mamma," the Protector called his attention (aside) to a squib or
brandy-ball, and York consented at last to go with his uncle. "Oh!
I thought you would," cried the wily duke, as he clutched his little
nephew up and jogged with him to the Tower. Such was the artful scheme
by which the tyrant originally got possession of the subsequent victim
of avuncular cruelty. It has been urged in extenuation of his cruel
murder of the little princes, that their deaths were a necessary
sequel to those of Hastings and others; but it would have been a poor
consolation to the victims had they known that they were only killed by
way of supplement. We cannot think that any portion of the catalogue
of Richard's crimes should be printed in colours less black because
it formed a continuation or an appendix to his atrocities; nor can we
excuse Part II. of a horribly bad work because Part I. has rendered it
unavoidable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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