The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
"I should like to see myself appearing as a dowdy before my sovereign,"
was the lady's feminine reply, and she paid more than usual attention to
her _toilette_ in order to attract the favourable notice of Edgar. The
monarch finding himself deceived by Athelwold, asked him to come and
hunt in a wood, when, without any preliminary beating about the bush,
and exclaiming, "You made game of me, thus do I make game of you," he
stabbed the unfortunate earl, and returned home to marry his widow.
Edgar did not live many years after this ungentlemanly conduct, but died
at the early age of two-and-thirty. Though he had been favourable to
priestcraft, and patronised the cunning foxes of the Church, he was an
enemy to wolves, and offered so much per head for all that were killed,
until the race was exterminated, and the cry of "Wolf" became synonymous
with a false alarm of danger.
Edgar was succeeded (a.d. 975) by Edward, his son by his first wife, who
was not more than fourteen or fifteen years old; and thus, at that age
before which an individual in the present day is not legally qualified
to drive a cab, this royal hobbledehoy assumed the reins of government.
His mother-in-law, Elfrida, endeavoured to grasp them for her own son
Ethelred, an infant of six, but Dunstan having at that moment the whip
hand, prevented her from reaching the point she was driving at.
Edward, who acquired the name of the Martyr, was accordingly crowned
at Kingston, where coronations formerly came off; but he did not long
survive, for hunting one day near Corfe Castle, he made a morning call
on his mother-in-law, Elfrida, and requested that a drop of something
to drink might be brought to him. As Elfrida was offering him the ale
in front, her porter dropped upon him in the back, and inflicted a stab
which caused him to set spurs to his horse; but falling off from loss
of blood, he was drawn--a lifeless bier--for a considerable distance.
Elfrida has been acquitted by some of having been the instigator of this
cruel act, but as it is said she whipped her little son Ethelred for
crying at the news of the death of his half-brother Edward, we can
scarcely admit that there is any doubt of which we can give her the
benefit. Both mother and son became so exceedingly unpopular that an
attempt was made to set up a rival on the throne, to the exclusion of
Ethelred, and the crown was offered to the late king's natural daughter,
whose name was Edgitha.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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