The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Another important and useful measure of Henry's reign was that by which
the nobility and gentry could alienate their estates, or cut mouth
an occupant of the throne of England off the tail, which limited
everything to the head of a family. This apparently liberal act was
passed for the benefit of the king himself, who wished his nobles to be
able to sell everything they had got for the sake of paying the expenses
of the wars, which otherwise must have been prosecuted partly out of
Henry's own pocket. He owed more to fortune than to his own merit, and
even the conspiracies that were got up against him from time to time
helped to sustain him in his high position, as the shuttlecock is kept
in a state of elevation by constant blows from the battledore.
CHAPTER THE SECOND. HENRY THE EIGHTH.
[Illustration: 372]
HENRY the EIGHTH, only surviving son and successor of Henry the Seventh,
took to his father's crown and sceptre on the 22nd of April, 1509,
amid general rejoicing, for he was an exceedingly gentlemanly youth of
eighteen when he came to the throne, of which his parent had recently
been but a bearish occupant. If young Harry had never lived to play old
Harry, his popularity might have survived him, for the people had become
disgusted with the conduct of his father, and there never was a finer
chance for a young man than that which offered itself to the new
sovereign.
Nothing could exceed the grossness of the adulation which was poured out
upon him at his accession, and the perfection of the art of puffing in
England may, perhaps, be ascribed to this period of our history. His
countenance was likened to that of Apollo--a falsehood for which, in his
features, no apology can be found; his chest was declared to be that
of Mars, though it was evidently his pa's, for in early youth his
resemblance to his father was remarkable. Clemency was declared to be
seated on his ample forehead, equity was pronounced to be balancing
itself on the bridge of his nose, intelligence was recognised lurking
in ambush among his bushy hair; and even Erasmus attributes to him the
acuteness of the needle, with other intellectual qualities of an exalted
character. *
* We are indebted to Mr. Tytler, who is generally correct to
a tittle, for these interesting particulars.--See his "Life
of Henry the Eighth," p. 16 of the 2nd edition.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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