The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
It is sad to reflect that the philosopher, when he takes the paintbrush
in hand to dash off the portrait of a king, is apt to become a mere
parasite, and will not abstain from staining his own character by
daubing with false colours the canvas of history. Thus, even Erasmus
used hues his friends would be glad to erase, and has covered over the
black spots in Henry's character with that pink of perfection which
makes _couleur de rose_ of everything. It is not to be wondered at, that
in setting out upon the voyage of government, Henry received "one turn
a-head"--if we may be allowed a nautical expression--while the engines
of flattery were at work on all sides of him. It is to be regretted, for
the sake of himself as well as for the good of his subjects, that truth
was not at hand to give him that friendly "shove astern" which has saved
many from precipitating themselves on the rocks that always lie in the
course of greatness and power.
As if determined to begin as he intended to go on, Henry looked out at
once for a wife, and, considering how often he was destined to undergo
the marriage ceremony in the course of his reign, it was as well that he
should lose no time in commencing the career that lay before him. In
his first matrimonial adventure he appears to have let others choose for
him, instead of making a selection for himself, and Catherine of Aragon,
the widow of his elder brother Arthur, was pointed out to him as an
eligible _parti_ for nuptial purposes.
This marriage was strongly recommended by the political faculty as a
saving of expense, for the lady would have been entitled to a large
pension as widow of Prince Arthur, and her friends in Spain, had she
been returned upon their hands, would have wanted to know something
about the 150,000 crowns she had received as a marriage portion. Of
course, the whole of it was gone, and it was thought that Henry would
be killing a whole covey of birds with one stone if he would consent to
take her as his wife, inasmuch as he would thus extinguish her claims to
a pension, and prevent any awkward questions being asked in Spain as to
the portion she had brought with her to England. Henry, feeling a sort
of intuitive consciousness that he should have plenty of opportunities
to select a wife for himself, agreed to take, as a beginning, the one
that had been chosen for him by others, and accordingly, on the 3rd of
June, 1509, the lady, who was eight years older than himself, became his
wife, at Greenwich. The royal couple were not destined to roll down the
hill together in after life, whatever they may have done on the day of
their union, which was doubtless marked by all those sports of which the
locality was susceptible. Catherine, though a little _passée_,
looked exceedingly well, for, in order to render her appearance more
attractive, she was dressed in white, and "all Greenwich," says Lord
Herbert, "did not, on that day, contain a daintier dish of whitebait
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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