The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
It was on the feast of St. Brice, soon after his marriage with Emma,
that the order to commit this sanguinary act was given by Ethelred. It
is true that the Danish mercenaries had given great provocation by their
insolence. They had, according to the old chroniclers, * sunk into such
effeminacy that they washed themselves once a week and combed their
heads still more frequently. We cannot perhaps accuse the chroniclers of
being over nice in their objections to the Danish habits of cleanliness,
but we really are at a loss to see the effeminacy of taking a bath every
seven days, and preventing the hair from becoming in appearance little
better than a quantity of hay in a state of unraked roughness. It was
on the 15th of November, 1002, which happened to be one of their weekly
washing days, that the Danes were surprised and treated in the barbarous
manner we have alluded to. The Lady Gunhilda, the sister of Sweyn, and
the wife of an English earl of Danish extraction, was one of the victims
of the massacre, and died fighting to the last with that truly feminine
weapon, the tongue, predicting that her death would be followed by
the downfall of the English nation. This act of ferocity naturally
exasperated Sweyn, who resolved on invading England, and he prepared a
considerable fleet, the vessels belonging to which appear to have been
got up much in the same style as the civic barges on the Thames, for
they were gaily gilded, and had all sorts of emblematical devices
painted over them. Sweyn himself arrived in the _Great Dragon_, a boat
made in the inconvenient form of that disagreeable animal. Had the
patron saint of England been at hand to do his duty at that early
period, the great dragon would have been speedily overcome, but it is
a familiar observation, that people of this-sort are never to be found
when they are really wanted.
* Wallingford, p. 547.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account