The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Ethelred had selected for his favourite a low fellow of the name of
Edric, who was exceedingly eloquent, and had not only talked one of
the king's daughters into accepting his hand, but had even talked
the monarch himself into sanctioning the unequal marriage. Edric had
obtained for his brother Brightric a high post in the navy, as commander
of eight vessels; but the latter got into a quarrel with his nephew,
Wulfnoth, who was known by the odd appellation of the "Child of the
South Saxons," or the Sussex lad, as we should take the liberty
of calling him. The "child" determined on flight; but with a truly
infantine objection to run alone, he got twenty of the king's ships to
run along with him. Brightric cruised after him with eighty sail, but
the tempest rising, and the rudders at the stem refusing to act, he
was driven on shore by stem necessity. Wulfnoth, who had done a little
ravaging on his own private account along the southern coast, returned
to make firewood of the timbers of Brightric, which fortune had so
cruelly shivered.
Ethelred was completely panic-stricken at the news of this reverse,
and hurried home as fast as he could to summon a council, but every
resolution that was passed no one had the resolution to execute. To add
to the king's embarrassments, "Thurkill's host" came over, com-prising
the flower of the Scandinavian youth, which planted itself in Kent, and
caused a sad blow to the country. Various short peaces were purchased by
the Saxons at so much a piece; but, as Pope Gregory would have had it,
every arrangement was not a sale, but a sell on the part of Thurkill,
who continued sending in a fresh account for every fresh transaction.
Ethelred was now in the very midst of traitors, and it was impossible
that he should ever be brought round in such a circle. He had not a
single officer to whom a commission could be safely entrusted. Edric,
his favourite, having taken offence, joined the enemy in an attack upon
Canterbury, which had lasted for twenty days, when some one left the
gate of the city ajar, either by design or accident.
Alphege, the good archbishop, who had defended the place, was instantly
loaded with chains; and though he felt himself dreadfully fettered,
he declined to purchase his ransom, for the very best of all reasons,
namely, that he had not the money to pay for it. The old man, wisely
making a virtue of necessity, proclaimed his determination not to part
with a shilling, "and indeed," said he, "I couldn't if I would; for to
tell you the truth, I haven't got it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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