The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
It would be a waste of time and patience, both to writer and reader,
were we to ask him to accompany us into every little field where a
little skirmish may have taken place, at about this period, between Rome
and her enemies. To describe the fluctuations of the fortune of war,
would be as dry and unprofitable as the minute narration of all the
incidents of a long game at heads and tails; nor would the historian
have repeated very often the particulars of the throwing up the coin,
before the reader would be found throwing up the history. We shall,
therefore, content ourselves with giving the heads in a curtailed form,
without going into the particulars of the movements of the generals.
There was an enormous quantity of putting to the sword on both sides,
but without running through the whole, we will submit to the eye of the
reader the points best adapted for the use of the pupil. In the north of
Samnium, the Romans were surprised by an Etruscan army, and nearly
destroyed; but when they were more than half killed, they began to look
alive, and completely exterminated the foe, whose survivors, consisting
of their cattle, fell into the hands of the conquerors. The Consul, C.
Marcius, had succeeded in taking a place called Allifæ; but the Samnites
soon afterwards brought themselves completely round, and made him the
centre of a circle, which, as he was entirely cut off from Rome, was to
him a centre of extreme gravity. Not even a messenger could find a way
to take to the city the tidings of the Consul's perilous position; but
it seems to have become known, by some means or other, for L. Cursor
hastened to the scene, and caused the Samnites to abandon their
position. Beginning to despond, they sought a truce, for which they had
to pay a most exorbitant price, in cash, corn, and clothes; for they had
to pay, feed, and clothe for three months the troops who had paid them
off, in another shape, and submitted them to a long series of thorough
dressings. They, however, still held out against acknowledging the
sovereignty of Rome, and thought themselves exempt from humiliation in
making themselves the slaves in fact, as long as they remained
independent in name, of that ambitious power. The main point of dispute
remaining still undisposed of, more fighting ensued, until Samnium was
at length so thoroughly reduced as to be obliged to confess itself
beaten at last; and the Samnites, who had by degrees parted with
everything they possessed for the luxury of maintaining that they were
free to do as they pleased with their own, acknowledged Rome to be their
master. Rome also needed relaxation; for her energies had become relaxed
by a war of twenty years; and both parties having done each other all
the harm they could, ceased only because the power of mischief had
become completely lost on one side, and seriously impaired on the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account