The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
The foes of Rome were just about this time so numerous, that whichever
way she looked, she had in her eye the sword of an enemy. The Boians,
the Tauriscans, and the Insubrians, with a number of miscellaneous
tribes, entered into an alliance, and threatened to enter into Rome
itself, where a prophecy was current, that the Gauls and Greeks would
take the city. Having consulted the book of fate, the Romans found
instructions for burying alive in the forum two Gauls and two Greeks; a
proceeding which, but for its connection with the grave, would border on
the ludicrous. An army, under the Consul L. Æmilius Papus, was sent to
Ariminum; but the Gauls, ignoring the movement, advanced within three
days' march of Rome, and ultimately found themselves between the army
just mentioned and another army that had been stationed in Etruria.
Flight was their only resource; and though the cavalry took to their
horses' heels, and the infantry took to their own, forty thousand are
said to have fallen on the field; but even imagination, which is
accustomed to wander in very wide fields, can scarcely find one
sufficiently extensive for such an incident.
It would seem that population in those days partook of the nature of
corn; for however thoroughly a people might be cut down and thrashed in
one year, there was always an abundant supply for the sword of an enemy
to go to work upon in the year following. The Gauls were accordingly to
be found in full force within twelve months after their having been
destroyed, and the consul, C. Flaminius, killed them all over again; but
they still were numerous enough in body, and sufficiently poor in
spirit, to acknowledge the sovereignty of their conquerors.
While the attention of Rome had been divided among her numerous foes,
the remnant of the Carthaginians had been expanding with the usual
rapidity, and had extended to Spain, where, under Hamilcar Barca, a
Carthaginian empire was in the course of being established. Hamilcar's
policy towards the Spaniards was bold and rather original, for he
determined to win their affections by thoroughly beating them. Every
blow he aimed produced a favourable impression, and the Spaniards were
as ready as so many spaniels to lick the hands that were continually
smiting them.
The system of Hamilcar was followed after his death by his son-in-law,
Hasdrubal, who ruled in Spain for eight years, and who proved so good a
ruler, that matters were kept as straight as could be desired. He was,
however, assassinated at last by some culprit, who has eluded the
vigilance of the historical detectives, for not even Niebuhr, who stands
acknowledged as A 1, has been able to lay his finger on the criminal.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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