The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
There were not so many spoils as had been expected, for everything was
spoilt by the mischief that had been done, and though there had been
plenty of gold, the fearful amount of violent change had so scattered
the gold, that there was not so much remaining as there otherwise would
have been. With a touch of that honour which the proverb says is to be
found among thieves, Scipio called upon the places formerly plundered by
Carthage to reclaim their goods; and the people of Agrigentum demanded a
brazen Bull they had once used as an instrument of torture, though the
invention was so discreditable to humanity, that its inventors ought to
have been ashamed to ask for it back again. Among the prizes secured by
the Romans, was a very small parcel of books, including a little work on
agriculture, by Mago, which had taught the Carthaginians to till the
earth, though not how to keep their ground, for they had lost every foot
of it.
Carthage became a province of Rome, under the name of Africa, and
Scipio, who subsequently styled himself Africanus, enjoyed one of those
triumphs, which were in fact disgraces to the object they were designed
to honour. Part of the "triumph" consisted in the barbarity of throwing
as food to lions the fugitives that had fallen into his hands, and games
were celebrated, in which death to the conquered was the chief sport to
the conqueror.
Macedonia, which was groaning under the freedom forced upon it by Rome,
was glad to become the slave of everybody who offered to ease it of the
obnoxious burden. The Macedonians, therefore, became the dupes of three
impostors in succession, who, with all their imposition, were less
objectionable than the hardships imposed by Rome in her character of
liberator to the world in general. The impostors--one of whom was a
runaway gladiator--were in turn subdued, and Macedonia was swallowed up
by Rome's insatiable appetite for conquest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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