The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
War with Jugurtha was again declared; for it was one of the most
prolific sources of a profitable job to those in power. The Consul,
Spurius Posthumius Albinus, was despatched with an army to Africa; but
he soon came home, like his predecessors, with a large fortune, which
seemed to be the kind of fortune of war that attended all who went to
fight against Numidia. He left the army under the guidance of his
brother Aulus, who, with his officers, were easily bribed into accepting
any terms, provided they were of a pecuniary nature, that Jugurtha
proposed to them. The Senate, however, refused to ratify the
dishonourable peace concluded by Aulus; and thus, by the somewhat
dishonest process of repudiating the acts of an authorised agent, Rome
was again free to make a further property of the Numidian sovereign. At
last, however, the affair was placed in honourable hands, by the
appointment of Metellus (Q. C.) to the command of the army. His probity
placed him far above any bribe that Jugurtha could offer; and though it
is a maxim with many, that every man has his price, it may be said of
Metellus that his moral standard was too high for any pecuniary standard
to be applied to it.
With the generosity of true genius, Metellus selected as his legate a
man capable of sharing with himself any of the honours that might be
gained in the wars about to be undertaken. This man was Caius Marius,
who had been, in early life, a labourer; but, while working with the
spade, he felt sure that something would eventually turn up in his
favour. He had served as a common soldier, but proved himself no common
man; and he rose, step by step, to a highly respectable position.
Vanity, however, was one of his weak points, and he fell into the hands
of an old Syrian fortune-teller, who resorted to all sorts of tricks to
persuade him that he was destined for the highest honours. He mentioned
his aspirations to Metellus, and hinted at the possibility of his
obtaining the Consulship; but his superior officer burst into a loud
laugh, which, instead of putting Marius out of conceit, put him further
into it. He proceeded to Rome, and, by a series of popular speeches, in
which he promised everything to the people, he, of course, gained their
suffrages. Having obtained the Consulship, he was despatched to finish
the war against Jugurtha; but Metellus, having first pretended that
there was nothing more to be done, for that he had settled the whole
business himself, resigned his post to Marius.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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