The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
It was the desire of the Government to prevent the people from knowing
what these books might contain, and the office of librarian was
entrusted to two individuals of illustrious birth, under the idea--not
very flattering to aristocracy--that patricians would be found the best
promoters of ignorance. One of these officers, having acted so
inconsistently with his rank, as to have imparted some information to a
fellow-citizen, was dismissed from his place and thrown into the sea in
a bag; so that he may be said, by the heartless punster, to have got the
sack in a double meaning.
While building operations were going on at home, destruction was being
dealt out abroad; and the Gabii being about twelve miles from Rome, were
the objects of the King's hostility. Having sent one of his captains
against them, who was repulsed by a major force, Tarquinius resolved on
trying treachery. He accordingly despatched his son, Sextus, to complain
of ill-treatment at his father's hands, and to implore the pity of the
Gabii, who were gabies enough not only to believe the story, but even to
appoint Sextus their general. He was ultimately chosen their governor;
and finding the Gabii completely in his hands, he sent to his own
governor--Tarquinius--to know what to do with them. The King was in the
garden when the messenger arrived; and whenever the latter asked a
question, the former made no reply, but kept knocking off the heads of
the tallest poppies with his walking-stick. The messenger ventured to
intimate, once or twice, that he was waiting for an answer; but the
heads of the poppies flying off in all directions, he began to tremble
for his own, and he flew off himself, to prevent accidents. On his
return, he mentioned the circumstances to Sextus, who regarded the
poppies as emblems of the Gabii; and, indeed, the latter seemed so
thoroughly asleep, that the comparison was no less just than odious.
Sextus, taking the paternal hint, knocked off several of the heads of
the people; and keeping up the allegory to the fullest extent, cut off
the flower of the Gabii. Many of their fairest blossoms perished by a
too early blow; and being thus deprived of what might fairly be termed
its primest pick, the soil was soon planted with the victorious
standards of Tarquinius. He, however, instead of introducing any apple
of discord, judiciously grafted the Gabian on the Roman stock; and thus
cultivated the only really valuable fruits of victory.
[Illustration: The Evil Conscience of Tarquin.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account