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The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.

History

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

Name: The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Author: Sherwood, John D.

Sherwood, John D.

United States -- History -- Humor

I.     THE FIRST TURN OF THE REVOLUTIONARY WHEEL. GRIEVANCES; THE
          PREPARATION; THE START                                     235

        The Hard Lot of the Colonists, and what they got from
          it.—Colonial Governors, like Old Topers at a Free
          Opening of a Tavern.—The Miseries of a Visit from
          Relatives poor and proud.—How, like poor Fowls, the
          Navigation Acts laid many bad Eggs.—Examples
          cited.—Parliamentary Laws ingeniously floored and
          roofed.—English Strabismus, or Squint-eyedness, sought
          to be made fashionable in the Colonies.—Success in
          Canada.—English Tubs to catch Revenue off American
          Slopes.—Manufacture of Hats prohibited; how and where
          the Fur flew.—What a Cute Yankee saw from the Top of the
          American Roof.—How Four Yards are worth more than
          Five.—Bull-yism defined, and its Laws stated.—The First
          Bill to raise Revenue; the large Bird behind it
          described.—Sent over to America, it was foul-ly
          treated.—Molasses denied to Colonists.—Effects on Yankee
          Appetites and on the Increase of Straws in Custom-House
          Casks.—Stamps and Stampedes.—The Act repealed; the Sting
          left in.—Another Bill and larger Bird behind it in
          1767.—The First Blood.—The Wheel starts; its Hub,
          Spokes, and Periphery.—English Bees swarm over and
          settle in Boston and other tender Parts.—The
          Dis-cord-ant Sounds at Concord.—George Washington; his
          Appearance and Costume, and what befell him, June,
          1775.—Gage falls from a Tree.—Why and Howe?—Washington
          seizes Boston Neck.—The Spasms.—Bunker Hill gets a Scar
          and afterwards an Ugly Monumental Patch.—The Boone
          Colonists in Kentucky.—How they blazed a-way thither
          from Virginia.—Washington at Cambridge.—Unseasoned
          Troops seasoned.—General Montgomery earns Laurels at
          Quebec mixed with Cypress.—The Revolutionary Wheel
          throws off Dusty Colonial Governors.—How Washington
          broke up the Hessian Swarm at Boston, and Howe they flew
          to Halifax.—Washington attends a Lecture in
          Boston.—General Lee’s Neck-and-Neck Race with Sir Henry
          Clinton for New York; Lee ahead 120 Minutes. Sir Henry
          and a Party of Jolly Dogs alight near Charleston, and
          how the Waspish Lee lit upon and stung them.—Where the
          Jolly Dogs then went.—The Wheel well started.


 II.    JULY FOURTH 1776 AND SO FORTH                                257

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The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

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