The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
During 1805 Mr. Eaton, the American consul at Tunis, made an agreeable
arrangement with Hamet Caramelli, the legitimate but exiled Bashaw of
Tripoli, for his restoration to his seat, badly filled by his brother;
and to carry out the plan, he started from Alexandria, in Egypt, in
company with the sable Hamet, seventy American seamen and four hundred
and thirty Arabs. After traversing a thousand miles of desert sands, he
fought two severe battles, took Derne, the capital city of the chief
province of Tripoli, and would have deposed the cruel reigning Bashaw,
and opened the prison doors shut on hundreds of innocent Christian
captives,—Eaton’s principal object in the romantic expedition,—but for a
hasty, jealous, and disreputable treaty got up between Tobias Lear,
Consul-General of the United States, and the Bey, whereby we agreed to
pay the crowned bandit $60,000 in silver, instead of in leaden pieces,
for the ransom of our sailors enmeshed, like flies, in the old spider’s
web.
The nation never liked that play of Lear. They always thought of this
its principal act, with the Earl of Kent:—
“There is division,
Although as yet the face of it be covered
With mutual cunning ’twixt Albany and Cornwall.”
Had these successive and armed protests by America against the Barbary
habit of enslaving white Christian captives, taken in war, been properly
seconded by the European powers, the dusk Mussulman of Northern Africa
would have been then converted from the old Roman practices to which
they willingly succeeded,—practices which the author of Don Quixote,
himself an Algerine captive for five years, had punctured with his sharp
quill over two centuries before, and which Lord Exmouth, with a British
fleet, so riddled with shotted logic, in 1816, as to silence forever.
While the play of Lear was so badly acted on the shores of the
Mediterranean, Michigan, toddling up from between the lake coasts that
bordered her double peninsula, left her ancient name of Wayne County and
the protecting hand of Indiana, and assumed an independent territorial
_status_. Her lymphatic temperament enabled her to suck up through her
many aquatic ducts an arterial circulation which helped her to stand
pretty successfully the dry-cuppings of Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New
York. In straits often she has worked her way with moderate success
through her Superior Lakes and water-courses to the open paths of
seaboard trade. The pictured rocks of her great northern lake illustrate
in lithography, rarely copied, some traits which she shares with no
others. Fortunately for her future independence, the intervention of
Lake Michigan prevents her territory from being laid out in city lots by
Chicago.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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