The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
In 1816 the second national bank was chartered, with a capital of
$35,000,000, lifting the country from suspension to specie payments. Mr.
Calhoun, its projector and the supporter of a high tariff, lived to
denounce both. Mr. Clay and Mr. Webster, his triangulating rivals, also
survived to balance with changing faces the changed front of their
Presidential competitor. The strong heats of party, in all times and
countries, bring out characters and lines invisible before.
In December, 1816, Indiana, the nineteenth State, came to Washington
bearing in her hands a-maize-ing reasons for her admission.
CHAPTER VIII.
THE ERA OF GOOD-WILL; OR, MONROE’S NESTING.
1817–1825.
Why Byron did not write sometimes.—Application.—Rainbow after the
Shower.—The Happy Family.—An Inlaid Cabinet.—Virginia’s Dower Rights
in the Presidency.—Five New States.—The Three M’s.—Proof from the
Census of 1820 that Chicago had not started.—The Missouri
Compromise.—A Good Bridle until used.—Florida bought in 1819.—What we
got over the Bargain.—The Florida Keys.—The Dry Tortugas thrown
in.—The Dews fortunately left.—A Cracked Cup in the Family
Cupboard.—The Monroe Doctrine.
“Why do you not write now?” inquired a friend of Byron in one of the
fitful pauses of his galloping author life.
“Because I am happy now.”
So reply the uneventful, unproductive felicities of Monroe’s term to the
distressed hunter after historical sensations.
After the showery storm of Madison’s aquatic epoch, rainbows came out in
millennial blendings. Warm sunshine lay upon all the land. Under it the
happy family dwelt in peace. Federal and Republican inlaid the Cabinet.
Virginia was satisfied with the fourth President. She had got her
thirds. The humble eighteen others believed in Virginia Presidents. They
were content. It was Solomon’s reign of peace paragraphed between
David’s wars and Rehoboam’s troubles. Five Territories took advantage of
the open doors to step into family relations. Among the five were the
three leading M’s, Maine, Mississippi, and Missouri. Chicago—we mean
Illinois—took the year 1818 to enter. Of course Chicago had not yet
begun, for in 1820 the census only showed 9,638,191.
The keeper of the happy family was re-elected in 1820. There was only
one vote against him,—a little mistake or eccentricity not worth
inquiring into. There was a little shimmering over the calm surface for
two years, caused by the application of Missouri to bring slaves with
her into the family. Of course Mr. Clay produced a compromise as a
settlement in 1820. Missouri was allowed slaves; but thereafter slavery
was banned from all territory north of 36° 30´. The bridle looked strong
when there was no horse. When the black charger was brought out and the
bridle put on, it was found, however, that he leaped unchecked over the
line.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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