Opening the text

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.

History

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

Name: The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Author: Sherwood, John D.

Sherwood, John D.

United States -- History -- Humor

This party discovered John C. Fremont, and set him up as a candidate. Of
course some people thought that his election would fracture the Union,
which, they believed, was held together by gum-bo.

The undiked waters would not float Mr. Douglas up to a two-thirds vote
for the Presidential nomination. Mr. Buchanan, buoyed up by Southern
corks, reached the dock. The Know-Nothings took up the polite Fillmore,
and gratified him with a present of the neat but useless eight votes of
Maryland.




                             CHAPTER XVII.

          COTTON-SEEDS SPROUT; OR, BUCHANAN’S ADMINISTRATION.

                               1857–1861.

The new Missionary Party and its Growth.—Character of Mr. Buchanan, and
  his Want of Same.—Description of curious Drawers in his Cabinet.—The
  Uses of Isaac Toucey.—The Lecompton Constitution, and how it fell
  together.—African Order of the Woolly Fleece.—The Mormon
  Magic-Lantern, and its Shows.—What Minnesota brought into the Union;
  and how a Long-fellow raised a Fall.—The War of the Illinois
  Giants.—Abraham Lincoln described.—Self-made Men; their Self-ishness
  and Unsymmetrical Characters.—Mr. Lincoln’s Growth and Character
  illustrated.—Mr. Douglas delineated.—Presidential Bonfires,
  Tar-Barrels, and Oratory.—A Spectre in Virginia; his Body swinging,
  his Soul marching on.—A live Coal on the Southern Heart.—What the
  Democratic Convention was asked to solve, and what it re-solved. Heads
  I win, Tails I don’t lose.—Breckenridge as a rare Prize-Taker.—The
  Missionary Party makes a Nomination.—New Lights and Shadows.—An
  original Recipe for threatened Political Apoplexy.—A sudden Convention
  in South Carolina.—Its mysterious Origin and Dark Ways.—A Chaotic
  Message.—Of different Secession Ordinances; and Want of Federal
  Ordnance.—Political Strikers described.—General Cass and a Broken
  Heart.—John B. Floyd skedaddles, chased by an Indictment.—General
  Anderson.—Fort Sumter breaks the Cabinet.—The Confederate Government
  and Flag made.—Their Composition.—History and Character of J.
  Davis.—Where Mr. Buchanan went March 4, 1861.


The votes for Fremont were 1,341,264, against 1,838,169 for James
Buchanan, and showed how successful the missionaries had been, and the
rapid growth of the tribe recently discovered and distinctly un-extinct.

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

Opening the text

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.

History

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

Sherwood, John D.

United States -- History -- Humor

This party discovered John C. Fremont, and set him up as a candidate. Of
course some people thought that his election would fracture the Union,
which, they believed, was held together by gum-bo.

The undiked waters would not float Mr. Douglas up to a two-thirds vote
for the Presidential nomination. Mr. Buchanan, buoyed up by Southern
corks, reached the dock. The Know-Nothings took up the polite Fillmore,
and gratified him with a present of the neat but useless eight votes of
Maryland.




                             CHAPTER XVII.

          COTTON-SEEDS SPROUT; OR, BUCHANAN’S ADMINISTRATION.

                               1857–1861.

The new Missionary Party and its Growth.—Character of Mr. Buchanan, and
  his Want of Same.—Description of curious Drawers in his Cabinet.—The
  Uses of Isaac Toucey.—The Lecompton Constitution, and how it fell
  together.—African Order of the Woolly Fleece.—The Mormon
  Magic-Lantern, and its Shows.—What Minnesota brought into the Union;
  and how a Long-fellow raised a Fall.—The War of the Illinois
  Giants.—Abraham Lincoln described.—Self-made Men; their Self-ishness
  and Unsymmetrical Characters.—Mr. Lincoln’s Growth and Character
  illustrated.—Mr. Douglas delineated.—Presidential Bonfires,
  Tar-Barrels, and Oratory.—A Spectre in Virginia; his Body swinging,
  his Soul marching on.—A live Coal on the Southern Heart.—What the
  Democratic Convention was asked to solve, and what it re-solved. Heads
  I win, Tails I don’t lose.—Breckenridge as a rare Prize-Taker.—The
  Missionary Party makes a Nomination.—New Lights and Shadows.—An
  original Recipe for threatened Political Apoplexy.—A sudden Convention
  in South Carolina.—Its mysterious Origin and Dark Ways.—A Chaotic
  Message.—Of different Secession Ordinances; and Want of Federal
  Ordnance.—Political Strikers described.—General Cass and a Broken
  Heart.—John B. Floyd skedaddles, chased by an Indictment.—General
  Anderson.—Fort Sumter breaks the Cabinet.—The Confederate Government
  and Flag made.—Their Composition.—History and Character of J.
  Davis.—Where Mr. Buchanan went March 4, 1861.


The votes for Fremont were 1,341,264, against 1,838,169 for James
Buchanan, and showed how successful the missionaries had been, and the
rapid growth of the tribe recently discovered and distinctly un-extinct.

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

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