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The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present — John Shaqi

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.

History

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

Name: The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Author: Sherwood, John D.

Sherwood, John D.

United States -- History -- Humor

Puzzles about Hemp and Paper.—Weak Brains at rest.—The
          Return of the Holders of Sabres and Guns.—Our
          Dead.—Fighters become Workers.—A Modern Sisyphus rolls a
          Stone up Hill.—How it rolled back.—The Interpretation by
          Congress of its own Rights.—Southern Delegates
          declined.—Puzzles solved.—Vetoing made easy.—The New
          Orleans Riots.—The Zig-zag Journey of the President to
          the Tomb of Douglas.—The Fenian Republic in Union
          Square.—The Sham-rock compared with other Rocks.—The
          French Moths in Mexico; and how they were
          singed.—Amnesties and Pardons.—Scripture
          outdone.—Forgiveness forced upon the
          Unrepenting.—Results of Congressional
          Reconstruction.—The President tried and one found
          wanting.—Value of one Vote.—Alaska and St.
          Thomas.—Chicago, unalarmed, goes on dis-pairing but not
          despairing.—The Narrow Escapes of New
          York.—Fiske-Ville.—Johnson gets Mudd out of the Dry
          Tortugas.


 XXII.  TAKEN FOR GRANTED; OR, WHAT IS EXPECTED OF GRANT AND THE
          AMERICAN FUTURE. MARCH 4, 1869, TO ——.                     534

        The supposed Difficulties of writing History in advance
          considered, and the Popular Delusions on the Subject
          disposed of.—Lively Expectations of what our future
          Presidents, Cabinet Members, Foreign Ministers, etc.,
          etc., will be and do.—What Citizens will be exempt from
          Executing and Garroting the Laws.—The Public Debt to
          disappear.—The Ways considered.—Cut up into Dividends
          and no more heard of.—What is expected of Common Schools
          and Sunday Schools in improving Public Men and their
          Speeches.—Certain Occupations to be dispensed with.—The
          Uses to which their Pursuers are to be put.—Improvements
          in Judges, Injunctions, and Court-Houses.—Extension of
          Efforts of Society for preventing Cruelty to Animals, to
          Employers, etc.—Woman’s Rights discussed from various
          Aspects.—Men and Women equal,—especially Women.—How any
          Differences between them are to be disposed of.—How
          Children are to be utilized before they get to be
          Twenty-one and lose their Activities.—The new Arts and
          Sciences to be taught.—Secretary of the Treasury to
          regulate the Fashions, and how.—The President and Sunday
          Schools.—All Mining to be transferred to Wall
          Street.—Advance Sheets of Reports for 1969.—What our
          Railway System is to be.—Grumbling and Patriotism.—Of
          the Future of Chicago, New York, Philadelphia, and
          Boston.—_A Pax Vobiscum._

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                        THE COMIC HISTORY OF THE
                             UNITED STATES.

[Illustration: COLUMBUS DISCOVERS AMERICA.]

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

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