Opening the text

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.

History

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

Name: The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Author: Sherwood, John D.

Sherwood, John D.

United States -- History -- Humor

These speculations did not, it is needless to add, discourage Chicago.
Always dis-pairing individuals, she never despaired for herself. Her
courts granted four hundred and sixty-eight divorces during 1868; but
notwithstanding the untoward fact, her unchecked population sang on more
loudly consoling lullabies to her well-rocked and increasing cradles of
grain. Efforts were made the same year to annex New York to the Erie
Railway and to change its name to Fisk-ville. These efforts might have
succeeded, but that the attention of the leading proprietor was diverted
to the Pacific; and the motion for the expected change was postponed to
a later term of the Supremest Court in the city of New York.

The last feat of Mr. Johnson was to get Mudd out of the Dry Tortugas.

[Illustration:

  GETTING MUDD OUT OF THE DRY TORTUGAS.
  (p. 533)
]




                             CHAPTER XXII.

   TAKEN FOR GRANTED; OR, WHAT IS EXPECTED OF GRANT AND THE AMERICAN
                                FUTURE.

                         MARCH 4, 1869, TO ——.

The supposed Difficulties of writing History in advance considered, and
  the Popular Delusions on the Subject disposed of.—Lively Expectations
  of what our future Presidents, Cabinet Members, Foreign Ministers,
  etc., etc., will be and do.—What Citizens will be exempt from
  Executing and Garroting the Laws.—The Public Debt to disappear.—The
  Ways considered.—Cut up into Dividends and no more heard of.—What is
  expected of Common Schools and Sunday Schools in improving Public Men
  and their Speeches.—Certain Occupations to be dispensed with.—The Uses
  to which their Pursuers are to be put.—Improvements in Judges,
  Injunctions, and Court-Houses.—Extension of Efforts of Society for
  preventing Cruelty to Animals, to Employers, etc.—Woman’s Rights
  discussed from various Aspects.—Men and Women equal,—especially
  Women.—How any Differences between them are to be disposed of.—How
  Children are to be utilized before they get to be Twenty-one and lose
  their Activities.—The new Arts and Sciences to be taught.—Secretary of
  the Treasury to regulate the Fashions, and how.—The President and
  Sunday Schools.—All Mining to be transferred to Wall Street.—Advance
  Sheets of Reports for 1969.—What our Railway System is to
  be.—Grumbling and Patriotism.—Of the Future of Chicago, New York,
  Philadelphia, and Boston.—_A Pax Vobiscum._

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

Opening the text

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.

History

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

Sherwood, John D.

United States -- History -- Humor

These speculations did not, it is needless to add, discourage Chicago.
Always dis-pairing individuals, she never despaired for herself. Her
courts granted four hundred and sixty-eight divorces during 1868; but
notwithstanding the untoward fact, her unchecked population sang on more
loudly consoling lullabies to her well-rocked and increasing cradles of
grain. Efforts were made the same year to annex New York to the Erie
Railway and to change its name to Fisk-ville. These efforts might have
succeeded, but that the attention of the leading proprietor was diverted
to the Pacific; and the motion for the expected change was postponed to
a later term of the Supremest Court in the city of New York.

The last feat of Mr. Johnson was to get Mudd out of the Dry Tortugas.

[Illustration:

  GETTING MUDD OUT OF THE DRY TORTUGAS.
  (p. 533)
]




                             CHAPTER XXII.

   TAKEN FOR GRANTED; OR, WHAT IS EXPECTED OF GRANT AND THE AMERICAN
                                FUTURE.

                         MARCH 4, 1869, TO ——.

The supposed Difficulties of writing History in advance considered, and
  the Popular Delusions on the Subject disposed of.—Lively Expectations
  of what our future Presidents, Cabinet Members, Foreign Ministers,
  etc., etc., will be and do.—What Citizens will be exempt from
  Executing and Garroting the Laws.—The Public Debt to disappear.—The
  Ways considered.—Cut up into Dividends and no more heard of.—What is
  expected of Common Schools and Sunday Schools in improving Public Men
  and their Speeches.—Certain Occupations to be dispensed with.—The Uses
  to which their Pursuers are to be put.—Improvements in Judges,
  Injunctions, and Court-Houses.—Extension of Efforts of Society for
  preventing Cruelty to Animals, to Employers, etc.—Woman’s Rights
  discussed from various Aspects.—Men and Women equal,—especially
  Women.—How any Differences between them are to be disposed of.—How
  Children are to be utilized before they get to be Twenty-one and lose
  their Activities.—The new Arts and Sciences to be taught.—Secretary of
  the Treasury to regulate the Fashions, and how.—The President and
  Sunday Schools.—All Mining to be transferred to Wall Street.—Advance
  Sheets of Reports for 1969.—What our Railway System is to
  be.—Grumbling and Patriotism.—Of the Future of Chicago, New York,
  Philadelphia, and Boston.—_A Pax Vobiscum._

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

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