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The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.

History

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

Name: The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Author: Sherwood, John D.

Sherwood, John D.

United States -- History -- Humor

America older than Europe, Asia, or Africa.—Chronic Errors
          on the Subject.—Europe presented to America.—Truth
          vindicated.—Proofs of our Superior Antiquity.—Luxurious
          Civilization of the Races which stocked this Continent
          before the Indians.—Amount of Coal left by them
          unburned.—Large Supplies of Fish packed away safely in
          our Mountains.—Fish Culture measure of Human
          Culture.—Fossil Cran-iology.—Laughable Blunders of
          Former Historians and Ethnologists.—Ancient Nations,
          Babylonian, Persian, Greek, the Ten Lost Tribes, etc.,
          trickling through, have reappeared on our Side of the
          Earth.—Instances cited.—Mythologies of Greece and Rome
          originated here.—Proofs and Reproofs.—American Nests
          well feathered Ages ago.


 II.    OF THE DISCOVERIES IN AMERICA DURING THE ELEVENTH,
          FIFTEENTH, SIXTEENTH, AND SEVENTEENTH CENTURIES. 1000 TO
          1607.                                                       64

        America not discovered by Jason.—Lithographic Specimens
          attributed to the Northmen in the Eleventh Century
          curious, but executed by Skalds more Modern.—Bishop
          Berkeley’s Western Star not the First American
          Constellation.—Columbus offers a Continent at Private
          Sale; Isabella, a Spanish Lady, takes him up, and the
          Profits also.—A Fish Story confirmed.—Of Ferdinand’s
          Necklace.—Price of Eggs advanced in Spain.—England
          finally sees something.—Discoveries which Columbus did
          not make.—Ponce de Leon.—Mexico unfortunately
          discovered.—The Straits of Magellan and other
          Straits.—De Soto at the Bottom of the
          Mississippi.—Champlain, a wise man, founds Quebec upon a
          Rock.—Sir Walter Raleigh and him smoking.—The Mayflower
          anchored.—Hudson up stream.


 III.   OF THE INDIAN CHARACTER                                       76

        Survey of Indian Character and Lands.—Our Pacific
          Intentions towards the Indians.—The Whites better read
          than the Red Men, and the Effects of Learning.—The Pale
          Complexion of their Affairs.—Wet Blankets thrown over
          their other Habits.—Different Traits discovered by
          School-Girls and through Official Spectacles.—Meaning of
          Indian Reservations.—Indian Style of Dress and its
          Conveniences.—Indian Names.—Examples of their Happy
          Application.

                             --------------

                              BOOK SECOND.

                        SETTLEMENTS AND COLONIES.

                               1607–1775.

 I.     OF AMERICAN SETTLEMENTS GENERALLY                             87

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

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