The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
America older than Europe, Asia, or Africa.—Chronic Errors
on the Subject.—Europe presented to America.—Truth
vindicated.—Proofs of our Superior Antiquity.—Luxurious
Civilization of the Races which stocked this Continent
before the Indians.—Amount of Coal left by them
unburned.—Large Supplies of Fish packed away safely in
our Mountains.—Fish Culture measure of Human
Culture.—Fossil Cran-iology.—Laughable Blunders of
Former Historians and Ethnologists.—Ancient Nations,
Babylonian, Persian, Greek, the Ten Lost Tribes, etc.,
trickling through, have reappeared on our Side of the
Earth.—Instances cited.—Mythologies of Greece and Rome
originated here.—Proofs and Reproofs.—American Nests
well feathered Ages ago.
II. OF THE DISCOVERIES IN AMERICA DURING THE ELEVENTH,
FIFTEENTH, SIXTEENTH, AND SEVENTEENTH CENTURIES. 1000 TO
1607. 64
America not discovered by Jason.—Lithographic Specimens
attributed to the Northmen in the Eleventh Century
curious, but executed by Skalds more Modern.—Bishop
Berkeley’s Western Star not the First American
Constellation.—Columbus offers a Continent at Private
Sale; Isabella, a Spanish Lady, takes him up, and the
Profits also.—A Fish Story confirmed.—Of Ferdinand’s
Necklace.—Price of Eggs advanced in Spain.—England
finally sees something.—Discoveries which Columbus did
not make.—Ponce de Leon.—Mexico unfortunately
discovered.—The Straits of Magellan and other
Straits.—De Soto at the Bottom of the
Mississippi.—Champlain, a wise man, founds Quebec upon a
Rock.—Sir Walter Raleigh and him smoking.—The Mayflower
anchored.—Hudson up stream.
III. OF THE INDIAN CHARACTER 76
Survey of Indian Character and Lands.—Our Pacific
Intentions towards the Indians.—The Whites better read
than the Red Men, and the Effects of Learning.—The Pale
Complexion of their Affairs.—Wet Blankets thrown over
their other Habits.—Different Traits discovered by
School-Girls and through Official Spectacles.—Meaning of
Indian Reservations.—Indian Style of Dress and its
Conveniences.—Indian Names.—Examples of their Happy
Application.
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BOOK SECOND.
SETTLEMENTS AND COLONIES.
1607–1775.
I. OF AMERICAN SETTLEMENTS GENERALLY 87
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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