The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
It is sometimes said that if the Western States had been first
discovered, New England would never have been settled at all; but this
seeming reproach upon the hard and stern features of New England soil
and climate warms into a compliment when we see what fabrics of iron,
cotton, and woollen have been conjured from her narrow means, what
wealth dangles from her hooks, what oil she gets without blubbering,
what a clean white marble face she puts on our houses and stores, and
what nutmegs and tropical wonders she picks up from her beeches and
haze-le bushes, and what seasoning she distributes to spice our tables
with literary condiments.
CHAPTER V.
THE SETTLEMENT OF NEW YORK.
The Spirits of the Age present at its Foundation.—Who they were and how
they were affected.—The Wonders of Manhattan in September, 1609.—How
the Animal, Vegetable, Ornithological, Maritime, and Human Productions
then compared with those now.—What New York Lots were worth two
hundred and sixty Years ago.—Their Owners.—Hudson’s Trip up the
River.—What he saw and didn’t see.—The four Dutch Governors; their
Doings and Misdoings.—Sketch of Holland and the Characteristics which
she impressed upon New Amsterdam.—Bravery evinced in settling
Brooklyn.—How the Van Rensselaers and other Vans were enticed
hither.—The Troubles and Sorrows of Wouter Van Twiller and William
Kieft.—Of the Surrender of the Dutch, and the Instalment of English
Rule in New York.—Petrus Stuyvesant retires from Business.—His Farm
and what he raised on it.
“The spirit of the age,” says Bancroft, “was present when the
foundations of New York were laid.” More justly might it be said that a
good deal of spirits, including a fair amount of Holland schnaps, put up
in long gray-colored jugs, was there, carried on shore by order of the
honest skipper of the Half-Moon, and duly distributed on the auspicious
occasion. The corner-stone of the Western metropolis was laid by a mason
employed by the Dutch East India Company, whose wide breeches,
glittering knee-buckles, and large slouched hat, set off by a smart
feather, seemed to the straight-limbed, wondering Algonquins, as they
huddled in friendly curiosity around him, to belong to some well-fed,
fat Mercury, fresh from a distant Olympus, taking a pleasant trip to
their simple island.
[Illustration:
THE SPIRITS OF THE AGE LAYING THE FOUNDATIONS OF NEW YORK.
(p. 127)
]
The spirits were not enclosed in a corner-stone, as is customary at
these raisings, but were more judiciously used by the sagacious Hendrick
Hudson among the bewildered spectators.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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