The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
It is generally believed that Lord Chesterfield invented manners: but as
he was not born until 1694, just as the seventeenth century was getting
staggeringly infirm and indifferent to its externals, and as he did not
procure the publication of his Letters until the characters on the blue
slate-stones over the bones of the deceased age had become blurred and
weather-dimmed, the question of the comparison of their manners with his
patent methods and rules did not, we may well believe, much vex those
earnest old toilers of the sea and on the land.
Single figures stand out in sharp and pleasing picturesqueness against
the distant horizon of those Colonial days; in Virginia, John Rolfe; in
New York, Petrus Stuyvesant; in Massachusetts, John Eliot; George
Calvert, in Maryland; Theophilus Eaton, in Connecticut; Sir John
Yeomans, in North Carolina; Roger Williams, in Rhode Island; and many
others, who seem in their granite integrity to be poised, like calm
sculpture, in ruff and wrist-frill, broad-lapelled coats, short-clothes,
silk stockings, and real, unplated silver knee and sleeve buckles.—These
figures, tall and stately, with high-bred, courtly manners, bland faces
lit up by purposes and convictions, with large, generous waistcoats,
made capacious for the pendulations of their big, loving hearts beneath,
still arrest our admiring eyes. The great mass of the Colonists,
however, were resolute workers, living on a spare diet, sleeping on hard
beds, with shake-downs for their friendly, and shake-ups for their
unfriendly, guests. Their tastes were simple and confined to a few
objects. Those modern houses in which we dwell, more appropriately
called museums, the best parts kept for show, and having not one, but
several mermaids, a What-is-it, and an assortment of woolly animals with
tails for heads, and heads omitted, would have paralyzed and shocked the
most advanced Colonists. Their manners were taking, but they were mainly
exhibited in taking grain from the fields, fish from the sea, and scant
returns from their store sales. The graces were shown mainly by husbands
in lifting their spouses on and off pillions, to and from church, and by
young men in those sweetly rough compliments that love contrives in all
times, and among all classes, to shape out from a scanty, lingual stock
in exchange for sheep’s-eyes and assenting blushes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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