The Coming of BillWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Coming of Bill
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
“You bet it isn’t,” said Kirk. “Mrs. Porter just looked in for a family
chat and a glimpse of my pictures. You’ll find George in bed, first
floor on the left upstairs, and a very remarkable sight he is. He is
wearing red hair with purple pyjamas. Why go abroad when you have not
yet seen the wonders of your native land?”
That night Lora Delane Porter wrote in the diary which, with that
magnificent freedom from human weakness that marked every aspect of her
life, she kept all the year round instead of only during the first week
in January.
This is what she wrote:
“Worked steadily on my book. It progresses. In the afternoon an
annoying occurrence. An imbecile with red hair placed himself in front
of my automobile, fortunately without serious injury to the
machine—though the sudden application of the brake cannot be good for
the tyres. Out of evil, however, came good, for I have made the
acquaintance of his employer, a Mr. Winfield, an artist. Mr. Winfield
is a man of remarkable physique. I questioned him narrowly, and he
appears thoroughly sound. As to his mental attainments, I cannot speak
so highly; but all men are fools, and Mr. Winfield is not more so than
most. I have decided that he shall marry my dear Ruth. They will make a
magnificent pair.”
Chapter II.
Ruth States Her Intentions
At about the time when Lora Delane Porter was cross-examining Kirk
Winfield, Bailey Bannister left his club hurriedly.
Inside the club a sad, rabbit-faced young gentleman, who had been
unburdening his soul to Bailey, was seeking further consolation in an
amber drink with a cherry at the bottom of it. For this young man was
one of nature’s cherry-chasers. It was the only thing he did really
well. His name was Grayling, his height five feet three, his socks
pink, and his income enormous.
So much for Grayling. He is of absolutely no importance, either to the
world or to this narrative, except in so far that the painful story he
has been unfolding to Bailey Bannister has so wrought upon that
exquisite as to send him galloping up Fifth Avenue at five miles an
hour in search of his sister Ruth.
Let us now examine Bailey. He is a faultlessly dressed young man of
about twenty-seven, who takes it as a compliment when people think him
older. His mouth, at present gaping with agitation and the unwonted
exercise, is, as a rule, primly closed. His eyes, peering through
gold-rimmed glasses, protrude slightly, giving him something of the
dumb pathos of a codfish.
His hair is pale and scanty, his nose sharp and narrow. He is a junior
partner in the firm of Bannister & Son, and it is his unalterable
conviction that, if his father would only give him a chance, he could
show Wall Street some high finance that would astonish it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account