The Coming of BillWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Coming of Bill
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
The afternoon was warm. The sun beat down on the avenue. Bailey had not
gone two blocks before it occurred to him that swifter and more
comfortable progress could be made in a taxicab than on his admirably
trousered legs. No more significant proof of the magnitude of his
agitation could be brought forward than the fact that he had so far
forgotten himself as to walk at all. He hailed a cab and gave the
address of a house on the upper avenue.
He leaned back against the cushions, trying to achieve a coolness of
mind and body. But the heat of the day kept him unpleasantly soluble,
and dismay, that perspiration of the soul, refused to be absorbed by
the pocket-handkerchief of philosophy.
Bailey Bannister was a young man who considered the minding of other
people’s business a duty not to be shirked. Life is a rocky road for
such. His motto was “Let _me_ do it!” He fussed about the affairs of
Bannister & Son; he fussed about the welfare of his friends at the
club; especially, he fussed about his only sister Ruth.
He looked on himself as a sort of guardian to Ruth. Their mother had
died when they were children, and old Mr. Bannister was indifferently
equipped with the paternal instinct. He was absorbed, body and soul, in
the business of the firm. He lived practically a hermit life in the
great house on Fifth Avenue; and, if it had not been for Bailey, so
Bailey considered, Ruth would have been allowed to do just whatever she
pleased. There were those who said that this was precisely what she
did, despite Brother Bailey.
It is a hard world for a conscientious young man of twenty-seven.
Bailey paid the cab and went into the house. It was deliciously cool in
the hall, and for a moment peace descended on him. But the distant
sound of a piano in the upper regions ejected it again by reminding him
of his mission. He bounded up the stairs and knocked at the door of his
sister’s private den.
The piano stopped as he entered, and the girl on the music-stool
glanced over her shoulder.
“Well, Bailey,” she said, “you look warm.”
“I _am_ warm,” said Bailey in an aggrieved tone. He sat down solemnly.
“I want to speak to you, Ruth.”
Ruth shut the piano and caused the music-stool to revolve till she
faced him.
“Well?” she said.
Ruth Bannister was an extraordinarily beautiful girl, “a daughter of
the gods, divinely tall, and most divinely fair.” From her mother she
had inherited the dark eyes and ivory complexion which went so well
with her mass of dark hair; from her father a chin of peculiar
determination and perfect teeth. Her body was strong and supple. She
radiated health.
To her friends Ruth was a source of perplexity. It was difficult to
understand her. In the set in which she moved girls married young; yet
season followed season, and Ruth remained single, and this so obviously
of her own free will that the usual explanation of such a state of
things broke down as soon as it was tested.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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