Oh let me look back ere I leave forever The time which was an hour one fondly waits For a fair girl that comes a withered hag! And I was lonely, far from woods and fields, And amid dullest sights, who should be loose As a stag; yet I was full of bliss, who lived With Plato and who had the key to life; And I had dimly shaped my first attempt, And many a thought did I build up on thought, As the wild bee hangs cell to cell; in vain, For I must still advance, no rest for mind. 'T was in my plan to look on real life, The life all new to me; my theories Were firm, so them I left, to look and learn Mankind, its cares, hopes, fears, its woes and joys; And, as I pondered on their ways, I sought How best life's end might be attained--an end Comprising every joy. I deeply mused. And suddenly without heart-wreck I awoke As from a dream: I said, "'T was beautiful, Yet but a dream, and so adieu to it!" As some world-wanderer sees in a far meadow Strange towers and high-walled gardens thick with trees, Where song takes shelter and delicious mirth From laughing fairy creatures peeping over, And on the morrow when he comes to lie Forever 'neath those garden-trees fruit-flushed Sung round by fairies, all his search is vain. First went my hopes of perfecting mankind, Next--faith in them, and then in freedom's self And virtue's self, then my own motives, ends And aims and loves, and human love went last. I felt this no decay, because new powers Rose as old feelings left--wit, mockery, Light-heartedness; for I had oft been sad, Mistrusting my resolves, but now I cast Hope joyously away: I laughed and said, "No more of this!" I must not think: at length I looked again to see if all went well.