The celebrated Dean Swift, of facetious memory, who was a man of great genius and talent, and had an extensive knowledge of the world, in his _burlesque_ Advice to Servants, by holding up their faults and vices as _laudable examples_ for imitation, teaches them, in one continued vein of sarcastic irony, what _they ought not to do_;—we therefore transcribe a considerable portion thereof, by way of _negative_ advice.—_Good servants will applaud this artifice, and bad ones will feel its force._ “When your master or lady calls a servant by name, if the servant be not in the way, none of you are to answer, for then there will be no end of your drudgery: and masters themselves allow, that if a servant comes when he is called, it is sufficient. “When you have done a fault, be always pert and insolent, and behave yourself as if you were the injured person; this will immediately put your master or lady off their mettle. “If you see your master wronged by any of your fellow-servants, be sure to _conceal_ it, for fear of being called a tell-tale: however, there is one exception in case of a favourite servant, who is justly hated by the whole family; and you are bound in prudence to lay all the faults you can upon the favourite. “The cook, the butler, the groom, the market-man, and every other servant who is concerned in the expenses of the family, should act as if his master’s _whole estate_ ought to be applied to that servant’s particular business. For instance, if the cook computes his master’s estate to be a thousand pounds a year, she reasonably concludes that a thousand pounds a year will afford _meat_ enough, and therefore, he need not be sparing; the butler makes the same judgment, so may the groom and the coachman; and thus every branch of expense will be filled to your master’s _honour_. “When you are chid before company, it often happens that some stranger will have the good-nature to drop a word in your excuse;—in such a case you will have a good title to justify yourself, and may rightly conclude, that, whenever he chides you afterwards, on other occasions, he may be in the wrong; in which opinion you will be the better confirmed by stating the case to your fellow-servants in your own way, who will certainly decide in your favour;—therefore, as I have said before, whenever you are chidden, complain as if you were injured.