“It often happens, that servants sent on messages are apt to stay out somewhat longer than the message requires, perhaps two, four, six, or eight hours, or some such trifle; for the temptation to be sure was great, and flesh and blood cannot always resist: when you return, the master storms, the lady scolds; stripping, cudgelling, and turning off, is the word. But here you ought to be provided with a set of excuses, enough to serve on all occasions: for instance, your uncle came fourscore miles to town this morning on purpose to see you, and goes back by break of day to-morrow:—a brother servant that borrowed money of you when he was out of place, was _running to Ireland_:—you were taking leave of an old fellow-servant, who was shipping for _Barbadoes_:—your father sent a cow to you to sell, and you could not get a chapman for her till nine at night:—you wrenched your foot against a stone, and were forced to stay three hours in a shop, before you could stir a step:—a bailiff, by mistake, seized you for a debtor, and kept you the whole evening in a spunging house, &c. &c. “Take all tradesmen’s parts against your master; and when you are sent to buy anything, never offer to cheapen it, but generously pay the full demand. This is highly to your master’s _honour_; and may be some shillings in your pocket; and you are to consider, if your master has paid too much, he can better afford the loss than a poor tradesman. “Never submit to stir a finger in any business, but that for which you were particularly hired. For example, if the groom be drunk, or absent, and the butler be ordered to shut the stable-door, the answer is ready, An’t please your honour, I don’t understand _horses_. If a corner of the hangings wants a single nail to fasten it, and the footman be directed to tack it up, he may say, he doth not understand that sort of work, but his honour may send for the upholsterer. “Masters and ladies are usually quarrelling with the servants for not shutting the doors after them: for neither masters nor ladies consider, that those doors must be open before they can be shut, and the labour is double to open and shut them; therefore the best, the shortest, and the easiest way is to do _neither_. But if you are so often teazed to shut the door, that you cannot easily forget; then give the door such a clap as you go out, as will shake the whole room, and make every thing rattle in it, to put your master and lady in mind that you observe their directions.