“If you are sent with ready money to buy any thing at a shop and happen at that time to be out of cash, _sink the money_, and take up the goods on your master’s account. This is for the _honour_ of your master and yourself; for he becomes a man of credit at your recommendation. “When your lady sends for you up to her chamber to give you any orders, be sure to stand at the door, and keep it open, fiddling with the lock all the while she is talking to you; and keep the handle in your hand, for fear you should forget to shut the door after you. “If your master or lady happen once in their lives to accuse you wrongfully, you are a _happy_ servant; for you have nothing more to do, than, for _every_ fault you commit while you are in their service, to put them in mind of that false accusation, and protest yourself equally innocent in the present case. “When you have a mind to leave your master, and are too bashful to break the matter for fear of offending him, the best way is to grow rude and saucy of a sudden, and beyond your usual behaviour, till he finds it necessary to turn you off; and when you are gone, to _revenge_ yourself, give him and his lady _such_ a character to all your brother-servants who are out of place, that _none_ will venture to offer their service. “Some nice ladies, who are afraid of catching cold, having observed that the maids and fellows below stairs often forget to shut the doors after them, as they come in, or go out into the back yards, have contrived that a pulley and a rope, with a large piece of lead at the end, should be so fixt, as to make the door shut of itself, and require a strong hand to open it, which is an immense toil to servants, whose business may force them to go in and out fifty times in a morning: but _ingenuity_ can do much, for prudent servants have found out an effectual remedy against this insupportable grievance, by _tying up_ the pulley in such a manner, that the weight of lead shall have no effect; however, as to my own part, I would rather chuse to keep the door _always open_, by laying a heavy stone at the bottom of it. “The servants’ candlesticks are generally broken, for nothing can last for ever. But you may find out many expedients; you may conveniently stick your candle in a bottle, or with a lump of butter against the wainscot, in a powder-horn, or in an old shoe, or in a cleft stick, or in the barrel of a pistol, or upon its own grease on a table, in a coffee-cup, or a drinking-glass, a horn-can, a tea-pot, a twisted napkin, a mustard-pot, an ink-horn, a marrow-bone, a piece of dough, or you may cut a hole in the loaf, and stick it there.