“When your master and lady go abroad together, to dinner, or on a visit for the evening, you need leave _only one_ servant in the house, or even one black-guard boy to answer at the door, and attend the children, if there be any. Who is to stay at home is to be determined by long and short cuts; and the stayer at home may be comforted by a visit from a sweet-heart, without danger of being caught together. These opportunities must _never_ be missed, because they come but seldom, and all is safe enough while there is a servant in the house. “When your master or lady comes home, and wants a servant who happens to be abroad, your answer must be, that he had but just that minute stept out, being sent for by a cousin who was dying. “If your master calls you by name, and you happen to answer at the fourth call, you need not hurry yourself; and if you be chidden for staying, you may lawfully say, you came no sooner, because you did not know _what_ you were called for. “When you are chidden for a fault, as you go out of the room, and down stairs, _mutter_ loud enough to be plainly heard; this will make him believe you are innocent. “Whoever comes to visit your master or lady when they are abroad, _never_ burthen your memory with the person’s name; for, indeed, you have too many other things to remember. Besides, it is a porter’s business, and your master’s fault he does not keep one; and who can remember names? and you will certainly mistake them; as you can neither write nor read. “If it be possible, never tell a lie to your master or lady, _unless_ you have some hopes that they cannot find it out in less than half an hour. When a servant is turned off, all his faults must be told, although most of them were never known by his master or lady; and all mischiefs done by others, charged to him. [Instance them.] And when they ask any of you, why you never acquainted them before? the answer is, Sir, or Madam, really I was afraid it would make you angry; and besides, perhaps, you might think it was malice in me. Where there are little masters and misses in a house, they are usually great impediments to the diversions of the servants; the only remedy is to bribe them with _goody goodies_, that they may not tell tales to papa and mamma. “I advise you of the servants, whose master lives in the country, and who expect vales, always to stand rank and file when a stranger is taking his leave, so that he must of necessity pass between you; and he must have more confidence or less money than usual if any of you let him _escape_; and according as he behaves himself, remember to treat him the _next time_ he comes.