"That's so.  But you'll get into a warmer one by and by if you don't mind your own bizness better."  I was a little riled at the feller, because I never take anythin only when I'm onwell.  I arterwards learned he was a temperance lecturer, and if he can injuce men to stop settin their inards on fire with the frightful licker which is retailed round the country, I shall hartily rejoice.  Better give men Prusick Assid to onct, than to pizen 'em to deth by degrees. At Albion I met with overwhelmin success.  The celebrated Albion Female Semenary is located here, & there air over 300 young ladies in the Institushun, pretty enough to eat without seasonin or sass.  The young ladies was very kind to me, volunteerin to pin my handbills onto the backs of their dresses.  It was a surblime site to see over 300 young ladies goin round with a advertisement of A. Ward's onparaleld show, conspickusly posted onto their dresses. They've got a Panick up this way and refooze to take Western money.  It never was worth much, and when western men, who knows what it is, refooze to take their own money it is about time other folks stopt handlin it.  Banks are bustin every day, goin up higher nor any balloon of which we hav any record.  These western bankers air a sweet & luvly set of men.  I wish I owned as good a house as some of 'em would break into! Virtoo is its own reward. A. Ward.          ____________________ THE OCTOROON. It is with no ordernary feelins of Shagrin & indignashun that I rite you these here lines.   Sum of the hiest and most purest feelins whitch actoate the humin hart has bin trampt onto.  The Amerycan flag has bin outrajed.  Ive bin nussin a Adder in my Boozum.  The fax in the kase is these here: A few weeks ago I left Baldinsville to go to N.Y.fur to git out my flamin yeller hanbills fur the Summer kampane, & as I was peroosin a noospaper on the kars a middel aged man in speckterkuls kum & sot down beside onto me.  He was drest in black close & was appeerently as fine a man as ever was. "A fine day, Sir," he did unto me strateway say. "Middlin," sez I, not wishin to kommit myself, tho he peered to be as fine a man as there was in the wurld--"It is a middlin fine day, Square," I obsarved. Sez he, "How fares the Ship of State in yure regine of country?" Sez I, "We don't hav no ships in our State--the kanawl is our best holt." He pawsed a minit and then sed, "Air yu aware, Sir, that the krisis is with us?" "No," sez I, getting up and lookin under the seet, "whare is she?" "It's hear--it's everywhares," he sed.