Since I last rit you I've met with immense success a showin my show in varis places, particly at Detroit.  I put up at Mr. Russel's tavern, a very good tavern too, but I am sorry to inform you that the clerks tried to cum a Gouge Game on me.  I brandished my new sixteen dollar huntin-cased watch round considerable, & as I was drest in my store clothes & had a lot of sweet-scented wagon-grease on my hair, I am free to confess that I thought I lookt putty gay.  It never once struck me that I lookt green.  But up steps a clerk & axes me hadn't I better put my watch in the Safe.  "Sir," sez I, "that watch cost sixteen dollars!  Yes, Sir, every dollar of it!  You can't cum it over me, my boy!  Not at all, Sir."  I know'd what the clerk wanted.  He wanted that watch himself.  He wanted to make believe as tho he lockt it up in the safe, then he would set the house a fire and pretend as tho the watch was destroyed with the other property!  But he caught a Tomarter when he got hold of me.  From Detroit I go West'ard hoe.  On the cars was a he-lookin female, with a green-cotton umbreller in one hand and a handful of Reform tracks in the other.  She sed every woman should have a Spear.  Them as didn't demand their Spears, didn't know what was good for them.  "What is my Spear?" she axed, addressing the people in the cars.  "Is it to stay at home & darn stockins & be the ser-LAVE of a domineerin man?  Or is it my Spear to vote & speak & show myself the ekal of a man?  Is there a sister in these keers that has her proper Spear?"  Sayin which the eccentric female whirled her umbreller round several times, & finally jabbed me in the weskit with it. "I hav no objecshuns to your goin into the Spear bizness," sez I, "but you'll please remember I ain't a pickeril.  Don't Spear me agin, if you please."  She sot down. At Ann Arbor, bein seized with a sudden faintness, I called for a drop of suthin to drink.  As I was stirrin the beverage up, a pale-faced man in gold spectacles laid his hand upon my shoulder, & sed, "Look not upon the wine when it is red!" Sez I, "This ain't wine.  This is Old Rye." "'It stingeth like a Adder and biteth like a Sarpent!'" sed the man. "I guess not," sed I, "when you put sugar into it.  That's the way I allers take mine." "Have you sons grown up, sir?" the man axed. "Wall," I replide, as I put myself outside my beverage, "my son Artemus junior is goin on 18." "Ain't you afraid if you set this example be4 him he'll cum to a bad end?" "He's cum to a waxed end already.  He's learnin the shoe makin bizness," I replide.  "I guess we can both on us git along without your assistance, Sir," I obsarved, as he was about to open his mouth agin. "This is a cold world!" sed the man.