It is now goin on 2 (too) yeres, as I very well remember, since I crossed the Planes for Kaliforny, the Brite land of Jold.  While crossin the Planes all so bold I fell in with sum noble red men of the forest (N.B.  This is rote Sarcasticul.  Injins is Pizin, whar ever found,) which thay Sed I was their Brother, & wanted for to smoke the Calomel of Peace with me.  Thay then stole my jerkt beef, blankits, etsettery, skalpt my orgin grinder & scooted with a Wild Hoop.  Durin the Cheaf's techin speech he sed he shood meet me in the Happy Huntin Grounds.  If he duz thare will be a fite.  But enuff of this ere.  Reven Noose Muttons, as our skoolmaster, who has got Talent into him, cussycally obsarve. I arrove at Salt Lake in doo time.  At Camp Scott there was a lot of U.S. sogers, hosstensibly sent out there to smash the Mormons but really to eat Salt vittles & play poker & other beautiful but sumwhat onsartin games.  I got acquainted with sum of the officers.  Thay lookt putty scrumpshus in their Bloo coats with brass buttings onto um & ware very talented drinkers, but so fur as fitin is consarned I'd willingly put my wax figgers agin the hull party. My desire was to exhibit my grate show in Salt Lake City, so I called on Brigham Yung, the grate mogull amung the mormins and axed his permishun to pitch my tent and onfurl my banner to the jentle breezis.  He lookt at me in a austeer manner for a few minits, and sed: "Do you bleeve in Solomon, Saint Paul, the immaculateness of the Mormin Church and the Latter-day Revelashuns?" Sez I, "I'm on it!"  I make it a pint to git along plesunt, tho I didn't know what under the Son the old feller was drivin at.  He sed I mite show. "You air a marrid man, Mister Yung, I bleeve?" sez I, preparin to rite him sum free parsis. "I hev eighty wives, Mister Ward.  I sertinly am married." "How do you like it as far as you hev got?" sed I. He sed "middlin," and axed me wouldn't I like to see his famerly, to which I replide that I wouldn't mine minglin with the fair Seck & Barskin in the winnin smiles of his interestin wives.  He accordingly tuk me to his Scareum.  The house is powerful big & in a exceedin large room was his wives & children, which larst was squawkin and hollerin enuff to take the roof rite orf the house.  The wimin was of all sizes and ages.  Sum was pretty & sum was Plane--sum was helthy and sum was on the Wayne--which is verses, tho sich was not my intentions, as I don't 'prove of puttin verses in Proze rittins, tho ef occashun requires I can Jerk a Poim ekal to any of them Atlantic Munthly fellers. "My wives, Mister Ward," sed Yung. "Your sarvant, marms," sed I, as I sot down in a cheer which a red-heded female brawt me. "Besides these wives you see here, Mister Ward," sed Yung, "I hav eighty more in varis parts of this consecrated land which air Sealed to me." "Which?" sez I, gittin up & starin at him. "Sealed, Sir! sealed." "Whare bowts?" sez I.