upards.  A dutchman in the orkestry warbles on a base drum.  Curtin falls.  Moosic by the Band. ____________________ JOY IN THE HOUSE OF WARD. Dear Sirs I take my pen in hand to inform you that I am in a state of grate bliss, and trust these lines will find you injoyin the same blessins.  I'm reguvinated.  I've found the immortal waters of yooth, so to speak, and am as limber and frisky as a two-year-old steer, and in the futur them boys which sez to me "go up, old Bawld hed," will do so at the peril of their hazard, individooally.  I'm very happy.  My house is full of joy, and I have to git up nights and larf!  Sumtimes I ax myself "is it not a dream?" & suthin withinto me sez "it air;" but when I look at them sweet little critters and hear 'em squawk, I know it is a reality--2 realitys, I may say--and I feel gay. I returnd from the Summer Campane with my unparaleld show of wax works and livin wild Beests of Pray in the early part of this munch.  The peple of Baldinsville met me cordully and I immejitly commenst restin myself with my famerly,  The other nite while I was down to the tavurn tostin my shins agin the bar room fire & amuzin the krowd with sum of my adventurs, who shood cum in bare heded & terrible excited but Bill Stokes, who sez, sez he, "Old Ward, there's grate doing up to your house." Sez I, "William, how so?" Sez he, "Bust my gizzud, but its grate doins," & then larfed as if heed kill hisself. Sez I, risin and puttin on a austeer look, "William, I woodnut be a fool if I had common cents." But he kept on larfin till he was black in the face, when he fell over on the bunk where the hostler sleeps, and in a still small voice sed, "Twins!"  I ashure you gents that the grass didn't grow under my feet on my way home, & I was followed by a enthoosiastic throng of my feller sitterzens, who hurrard for Old Ward at the top of their voises.  I found the house chock full of peple.  Thare was Mrs. Square Baxter and her three grown-up darters, lawyer Perkinses wife, Taberthy Ripley, young Eben Parsuns, Deakun Simmuns folks, the Skoolmaster, Doctor Jordin, etsetterry, etsetterry.  Mis Ward was in the west room, which jines the kitchin.  Mis Square Baxter was mixin suthin in a dipper before the kitchin fire, & a small army of female wimin were rushin wildly round the house with bottles of camfire, peaces od flannil, &c.  I never seed such a hubbub in my natral born dase.  I cood not stay in the west room only a minit, so strong was my feelings, so I rusht out and ceased my dubbel barrild gun "What on airth ales the man?" sez Taberthy Ripley.  "Sakes alive, what air you doin?" & she grabd me by the tales.  "What's the matter with you?" she continnered. "Twins, Marm," sez I, "twins!" "I know it," sez she, coverin her pretty face with her aprun. "Wall," sez I, "that's what's the matter with me!" "Wall, put down that air gun, you pesky old fool," sed she.