"Do you see them beans, old man?" and he pinted to a plate before him. "Do you see 'em?" "I do. They are a cheerful fruit when used tempritly." "Well," said he, "I hadn't eat anything since last week. I eat beans now BECAUSE I eat beans THEN. I never mix my vittles!" "It's quite proper you should eat a little suthin' once in a while," I said. "It's a good idee to occasionally instruct the stummick that it mustn't depend excloosively on licker for its sustainance." "A blessin'," he cried; "a blessin' onto the hed of the man what invented beans. A blessin' onto his hed!" "Which his name is GILSON! He's a first family of Bostin," said I. . . . . This is a speciment of how things was goin' in my place of residence. . . . . A few was true blue. The schoolmaster was among 'em. He greeted me warmly. He said I was welkim to those shores. He said I had a massiv mind. It was gratifyin', he said, to see the great intelleck stalkin' in their midst onct more. I have before had occasion to notice this schoolmaster. He is evidently a young man of far more than ord'nary talents. The schoolmaster proposed we should git up a mass meetin'. The meetin' was largely attended. We held it in the open air round a roarin' bonfire. The schoolmaster was the first orator. He's pretty good on the speak. He also writes well, his composition bein' seldom marred by ingrammatticisms. He said this inactivity surprised him. "What do you expect will come of this kind of doin's? Nihil fit--" "Hooray for Nihil!" I interrupted. "Fellow-citizens, let's giv three cheers for Nihil, the man who fit!" The schoolmaster turned a little red, but repeated--"Nihil fit." "Exactly," I said. "Nihil FIT. He wasn't a strategy feller." "Our venerable friend," said the schoolmaster, smilin' pleasantly, "isn't posted in Virgil." "No, I don't know him. But if he's a able-bodied man he must stand his little draft." The schoolmaster wound up in eloquent style, and the subscriber took the stand. I said the crisis had not only cum itself, but it had brought all its relations. It has cum, I said, with a evident intention of makin' us a good long visit. It's goin' to take off its things and stop with us. My wife says so too. This is a good war. For those who like this war, it's just such a kind of war as they like. I'll bet ye. My wife says so too. If the Federal army succeeds in takin' Washington, and they seem to be advancin' that way pretty often, I shall say it is strategy, and Washington will be safe. And that noble banner, as it were--that banner, as it were--will be a emblem, or rather, I should say, that noble banner--AS IT WERE. My wife says so too. [I got a little mixed up here, but they didn't notice it. Keep mum.] Feller citizens, it will be a proud day for this Republic when Washington is safe. My wife says so too.