The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's PanoramaWard, Artemus
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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's Panorama
Ward, Artemus
American wit and humor
"The particulars of the lecture we need not describe. Many
accounts of the Mormons, more or less credible, and all
authenticated, have been given by serious historians, and
Mr. W.H. Dixon, who has just returned from Utah to London,
is said to have brought with him new stores of solid
information. But to most of us Mormonism is still a
mystery, and under those circumstances a lecturer who has
professedly visited a country for the sake more of picking
up fun than of sifting facts, and whose chief object it must
be to make his narrative amusing, can scarcely be accepted
as an authority. We will, therefore, content ourselves with
stating that the lecture is entertaining to such a degree
that to those who seek amusement its brevity is its only
fault; that it is utterly free from offence, though the
opportunities for offence given by the subject of Mormonism
are obviously numerous; that it is interspersed, not only
with irresistible jokes, but with shrewd remarks, proving
that Artemus Ward is a man of reflection, as well as a
consummate humorist."
6.4. PROGRAMME OF THE EGYPTIAN HALL LECTURE.
PROGRAMME USED AT
EGYPTIAN HALL
PICCADILLY.
____________
Every Night (Except Saturday) at 8.
SATURDAY MORNINGS AT 3.
____________
ARTEMUS WARD
AMONG THE MORMONS.
. . . .
During the Vacation the Hall has been carefully Swept out
and a new Door-Knob has been added to the Door.
. . . .
MR. ARTEMUS WARD will call on the Citizens of London, at
their residences, and explain any jokes in his narrative
which they may not understand.
. . . .
A person of long-established integrity will take excellent
care of Bonnets, Cloaks, etc., during the Entertainment; the
Audience better leave their money, however, with MR. WARD;
he will return it to them in a day or two, or invest it for
them in America as they may think best.
->Nobody must say that he likes the Lecture unless he wishes
to be thought eccentric; and nobody must say that he doesn't
like it unless he really IS eccentric. (This requires
thinking over, but it will amply repay perusal.)
. . . .
The Panorama used to Illustrate Mr. Ward's Narrative is
rather more than Panoramas usually are.
. . . .
MR. WARD will not be responsible for any debts of his own
contracting.
. . . .
PROGRAMME.
. . . .
1. APPEARANCE Of ARTEMUS WARD,
Who will be greeted with applause. -> The stall-keeper is
particularly requested to attend to this. <- When quiet has
been restored, the Lecturer will present a rather frisky
prologue, of about ten minutes in length, and of nearly the
same width. It perhaps isn't necessary to speak of the
depth.
2.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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