The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's Panorama — John Shaqi
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's PanoramaWard, Artemus
General
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's Panorama
Ward, Artemus
American wit and humor
The Festivities at Dodworth Hall will be commenced by the pianist, a
gentleman who used to board in the same street with Gottschalk. The
man who kept the boarding-house remembers it distinctly. The
overture will consist of a medley of airs, including the touching
new ballads "Dear Sister, is there any Pie in the house" "My
Gentle Father, have you any Fine Cut about you?" "Mother, is the
Battle o'er and is it safe for me to come home from Canada?" And
(by request of several families who haven't heard it) "Tramp, tramp,
tramp, the Boys are Marching." While the enraptured ear drinks in
the sweet music (we pay our pianist nine dollars a week, and "find
him") the eye will be enchained by the magnificent green baize
covering of the panorama. This green baize cost 40 cents a yard at
Mr. Stewart's store. It was bought in deference to the present
popularity of "The Wearing of the Green." We shall keep up to the
times if we spend the last dollar our friends have got.
PROGRAMME OF THE DODWORTH HALL LECTURE.
ARTEMUS WARD,
his Programme.
DODWORTH HALL, 806 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
OPEN EVERY EVENING.
. . . .
1. Introductory.
2. The Steamer Ariel, en route.
3. San Francisco.
4. The Washoe Silver Region.
5. The Plains.
6. The City of Saints.
7. A Mormon Hotel.
8. Brigham Young's Theatre.
9. The Council-House.
10. The Home of Brigham Young.
11. Heber C. Kimball's Seraglio.
12. The Mormon House of Worship.
13. Foundations of the New Temple.
14. Architect's View of the Temple when finished.
15. The Great Dead Sea of the Desert.
16. The House of Mystery.
17. The Canyon.
18. Mid-Air Sepulture.
19. A Nice Family Party at Brigham Young's.
It requires a large number of Artists to produce this
Entertainment. The casual observer can form no idea of the
quantity of unfettered genius that is soaring, like a
healthy Eagle, round this Hall, in connection with this
Entertainment. In fact, the following gifted persons
compose the
OFFICIAL BUREAU.
Secretary of the Exterior...Mr. E.P. Hingston.
Secretary of the Treasury...Herr Max Field,
(Pupil of Signor Thomaso Jacksoni.)
Mechanical Director and Professor of Carpentry...Signor G. Wilsoni.
Crankist...Mons. Aleck.
Assistant Crankist...Boy (orphan).
Artists...Messrs. Hilliard & Maeder.
Reserved Chairists...Messrs. Persee & Jerome.
Moppist...Signorina O'Flaherty.
Broomist...Mlle. Topsia de St. Moke.
Hired Man...John.
Fighting Editor...Chevalier McArone.
Dutchman...By a Polish Refugee, named McFinnigin.
Doortendist...Mons. Jacques Ridera.
Gas Man...Artemus Ward.
____________________________________________________
This Entertainment will open with music. The soldiers'
Chorus from "Faust." -> First time in this city. <-
_____________________________________________________
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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