The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's PanoramaWard, Artemus
General
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's Panorama
Ward, Artemus
American wit and humor
. . . .
The Great Salt Lake.--Water actually thick with salt--too
saline to sail in.--Mariners rocked on the bosom of this
deep with rock salt.--The water isn't very good to drink.
. . . .
House where Mormons are initiated.--Very secret and
mysterious ceremonies.--Anybody can easily find out all
about them though, by going out there and becoming a Mormon.
. . . .
Echo Canyon.--A rough bluff sort of affair.--Great Echo.--
When Artemus Ward went through, he heard the echoes of some
things the Indians said there about four years and a half
ago.
. . . .
The Plains again, with some noble savages, both in the live
and dead state.--The dead one on the high shelf was killed
in a Fratricidal Struggle.--They are always having
Fratricidal Struggles out in that line of country.--It would
be a good place for an enterprising Coroner to locate.
. . . .
Brigham Young surrounded by his wives--Those ladies are
simply too numerous to mention.
. . . .
-> Those of the Audience who do not feel offended with
Artemus Ward are cordially invited to call upon him, often,
at his fine new house in Brooklyn. His house is on the
right hand side as you cross the Ferry, and may be easily
distinguished from the other houses by its having a Cupola
and a Mortgage on it.
. . . .
-> Soldiers on the battle-field will be admitted to this
Entertainment gratis.
. . . .
-> The Indians on the Overland Route live on Routes and
Herbs. They are an intemperate people. They drink with
impunity, or anybody who invites them.
. . . .
-> Artemus Ward delivered Lectures before
ALL THE CROWNED HEADS OF EUROPE
ever thought of delivering lectures.
___________________________________________________________
TICKETS, 50 CTS. RESERVED CHAIRS, 1 DOLLAR.
Doors open at 7.30 P.M.; Entertainment to commence at 8.
____________________________________________________________
->The Piano used is from the famous factory of Messrs
Chicking & Sons, 653 Broadway.
The Cabinet Organ is from the famous factory of Messrs Mason
& Hamlin, Boston, and is furnished by Mason Brothers, 7
Mercer Street, New York.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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