The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's PanoramaWard, Artemus
General
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's Panorama
Ward, Artemus
American wit and humor
(Picture of) Plains Between Virginia City and Salt Lake,
(showing a carcass attended by various scavengers, with a
building and mountains in the distance.)
This picture is a great work of art.--It is an oil painting
--done in petroleum. It is by the Old Masters. It was the
last thing they did before dying. They did this and then
they expired.
The most celebrated artists of London are so delighted with
this picture that they come to the Hall every day to gaze at
it. I wish you were nearer to it--so you could see it
better. I wish I could take it to your residences and let
you see it by daylight. Some of the greatest artists in
London come here every morning before daylight with lanterns
to look at it. They say they never saw anything like it
before--and they hope they never shall again.
When I first showed this picture in New York, the audience
were so enthusiastic in their admiration of this picture
that they called for the Artist--and when he appeared they
threw brickbats at him. (This portion of the panorama was
very badly painted. When the idea of having a panorama was
first entertained by Artemus, he wished to have one of great
artistic merit. Finding considerable difficulty in
procuring one, and also discovering that the expense of a
real work of art would be beyond his means, he resolved on
having a very bad one or one so bad in parts that its very
badness would give him scope for jest. In the small towns
of the Western States, it passed very well for a first-class
picture, but what it was really worth in an artistic point
of view its owner was very well aware.)
(Next picture.) A bird's-eye view of Great Salt Lake City--
the strange city in the Desert about which so much has been
heard--the city of the people who call themselves Saints.
I know there is much interest taken in these remarkable
people--ladies and gentlemen--and I have thought it better
to make the purely descriptive part of my Entertainment
entirely serious.--I will not--then--for the next ten
minutes--confine myself to my subject.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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