The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's PanoramaWard, Artemus
General
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's Panorama
Ward, Artemus
American wit and humor
Some seventeen years ago a small band of Mormons--headed by
Brigham Young--commenced in the present thrifty metropolis
of Utah. The population of the territory of Utah is over
100,000--chiefly Mormons--and they are increasing at the
rate of from five to ten thousand annually. The converts to
Mormonism now are almost exclusively confined to English and
Germans--Wales and Cornwall have contributed largely to the
population of Utah during the last few years. The
population of Great Salt Lake City is 20,000.--The streets
are eight rods wide--and are neither flagged nor paved. A
stream of pure mountain spring water courses through each
street--and is conducted into the Gardens of the Mormons.
The houses are mostly of adobe--or sun-dried brick--and
present a neat and comfortable appearance.--They are usually
a story and a half high. Now and then you see a fine modern
house in Salt Lake City--but no house that is dirty, shabby,
and dilapidated--because there are no absolutely poor people
in Utah. Every Mormon has a nice garden--and every Mormon
has a tidy dooryard.--Neatness is a great characteristic of
the Mormons.
The Mormons profess to believe that they are the chosen
people of God--they call themselves Latter-day Saints--and
they call us people of the outer world Gentiles. They say
that Mr. Brigham Young is a prophet--the legitimate
successor of Joseph Smith--who founded the Mormon religion.
They also say they are authorized--by special revelation
from Heaven--to marry as many wives as they can comfortably
support.
This wife-system they call plurality--the world calls it
polygamy. That at its best it is an accursed thing--I need
not of course inform you--but you will bear in mind that I
am here as a rather cheerful reporter of what I saw in Utah
--and I fancy it isn't at all necessary for me to grow
virtuously indignant over something we all know is hideously
wrong.
You will be surprised to hear--I was amazed to see--that
among the Mormon women there are some few persons of
education--of positive cultivation. As a class the Mormons
are not educated people--but they are by no means the
community of ignoramuses so many writers have told us they
were.
The valley in which they live is splendidly favored. They
raise immense crops. They have mills of all kinds. They
have coal--lead--and silver mines. All they eat--all they
drink--all they wear they can produce themselves--and still
have a great abundance to sell to the gold regions of Idaho
on the one hand--and the silver regions of Nevada on the
other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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