Thare iz nothing we brag ov more than our honesty, and we all ov us kno that our honesty iz az mutch the effekt ov interest az principle. It don’t show good judgment to be surprized at ennything in this world, for thare is nothing more certain than uncertainty. Every human physikal lump on the face ov this earth iz susceptible tew flattery; sum yu kan daub it on with a white-wash brush, while others must hav it sprinkled on them, like the dew from flowers. Every man haz a perfekt right tew hiz opinyun, provided it agrees with ours. Thare iz no sich thing az being proud before man and humble before God. Our continual desire for praise ought tew satisfy us ov our mortality, if nothing else will. Confession iz not the whole ov repentance, but it iz the butt end ov it. If virtu did not so often manage tew make herself repulsive, vice would not be half so attraktive. Cunning iz not an evidence ov wisdom, but iz prima facie evidence ov the want of it. If we were wize enuff tew ketch a fox bi argument, we shouldn’t hav to set a trap for him. Prosperity makes us all honest. Love iz a child ov the heart; and it iz lucky if the head iz the father ov it. A coquette in love iz az silly az a mouse in a wire-trap; he don’t seem tew kno exackly how he got in, nor exackly how he iz going to get out. Every man thinks hiz nabor happier than he iz, but if he swops places with him he will want tew trade back next morning. Everyboddy’s friend should be noboddy’s confidant. Love iz like the meazles; we kant have it bad but onst, and the latter in life we hav it the tuffer it goes with us. Thare is nothing so easy to larn az experience, and nothing so hard to apply. Thare ain’t but phew men who kan stick a white hankerchef into the brest pocket ov their overcoat without letting a little ov it stick out--just bi acksident. LOBSTIR SALLAD. A slander iz like a hornet, if yu kant kill it dead the fust blo, yu better not strike at it. Politeness iz a shrewd way folks haz ov flattering themselfs. I make this distinkshun between _charakter_ and _reputashun_--reputashun iz what the world _thinks_ ov us, charakter iz what the world _knows_ ov us. What a ridikilus farce it iz to be continually on the hunt for peace and quiet. No man ever yet increased hiz reputashun bi contradikting lies. Anxiety alwus steps on itself. Silence, like darkness, iz generally safe. Thare iz only two things that i kno ov that a man wont brag ov, one iz lieing, and tuther iz jealousy. It takes branes tew make a _smart_ man, but good luck often makes a _famous_ one. Opinyuns are like other vegetables, worth just what they will fetch. I think most men had rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder. Love cuts up all sorts ov monkey shines, it makes a fool sober, and a wize man frisky. I don’t beleave in total depravity, every man haz sumthing in him to show that God made him.