“We only love them that we fear. This may be only one of my lies, but it looks so tew me from where i stand now. “The best condishun in life iz not to be so ritch az tew be envyed, nor so poor az to be damned. “Iz it charity tew giv tew a thankless cuss in need? certainly; jest az mutch az it would be to save a drouning cow. “Just praize iz the vernakular ov good deeds. “Whare thare iz grate virtue, thare must hav bin grate vices, or else a very poor sile, that raizes nothing but what haz bin planted, and well tended and manured at that. “Revenge iz jist az natral as milk, yu will see little bits ov boys club the post that they bump their heads aginst.” KOARSE SHOT. Whenever yu see a doktor who alwus travels on the jump, yu kan bet he is looking for a job. [Illustration: KOARSE SHOT.] The bulk ov mankind are mere imitators of very poor originals. It iz a grate deal eazier tew be a philosopher after a man haz had a warm meal than it iz when he don’t kno whare he iz a going tew git one. Most men lament their condishun in life, but thare are but phew, after all, who are superior to it. To never dispair may be God like, but it ain’t human. Affektashun looks well in a monkey. Trieing tew define love iz like trieing tew tell how yu kum tew brake thru the ice, all yu kno about it iz, yu fell in, and got _ducked_. The prinsipal importanse ov a mistery iz the mistery itself. What makes a ghost so respektable a karakter iz, that noboddy ever saw one. The pedigree that we receive from our ansestors iz like the money we receive from them, we are not expekted tew liv on the principle, but on the accumulashun, and transmit the principle unimpaired. A weak man wants az mutch watching az a bad one. It iz hard work tew define human happiness, the real possessor ov it iz the very one who kant define it. Wealth iz no guard aginst villany, thare iz az mutch iniquity amung the ritch az amung the poor, ackording tew their numbers. A wize man never enjoys himself so mutch, nor a phool so little, az when alone. Avarice iz az hungry az the grave. Thare iz a grate deal ov virtew in this world that iz like jewellry, more for ornament than use. I am satisfied that courage in men iz more often the effekt ov konstitushun than ov principle. About the best thing that experience kan teach us iz tew bear misfortins, and sorrow, with kompozure. Mans necessitys are phew, but hiz wants are endless. Thare are menny people who not only beleave that this world revolves on its axis, but they beleave that they are the axis. Self-made men are most alwus apt tew be a leetle too proud ov the job. I think thare iz az menny old phools in the world, az thare iz yung ones, and thare iz this difference between them, the yung ones may outgrow their pholly, but the old ones never do. The ambishun of 9 men out of 10, if it should receive no check, would end in their destrukshun. A genuine aphorism, iz truth done up in a small package.