The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"Train, Arthur Cheney
General
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"
Train, Arthur Cheney
Attorney and client -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
Few persons realize how difficult it is for an outsider, such as
an ordinary juryman, to decide an issue of fact. A flat denial is
worth a hundred ingenious defences in which the act is admitted
but the attempt is made to explain it away. It is this that gives
the jury so much trouble in criminal cases. For example, in the
case of the pickpocket the lawyers and the judge may know that the
complaining witness is a worthy woman, the respectable mother of
a family, and that the defendant is a rascal. But each comes before
the jury presumably of equal innocence. She says he did, he says
he didn't. The case must be proven beyond a reasonable doubt.
Generally the defendant's word, so far as the jury can see, is as
good as his accuser's. If there are other witnesses it is usually
not difficult, and certainly not impossible, to show that they have
poor eyesight, bad memories, or are undesirable citizens in general.
The criminal lawyer learns in his cradle never to admit anything.
By getting constant adjournments he wears out the People's witnesses,
induces others to stay away, and when the case finally comes to
trial has only the naked accusation of the complainant to disprove.
Or, to put it in more technically correct fashion, the complainant
has only his own word wherewith to establish his case beyond a
reasonable doubt. A bold contradiction is often so startling that
it throws confusion into the enemy's camp.
I once defended a worthy gentleman named Cohen on a charge of
perjury, alleged to have been committed by him in a civil case in
which he, as defendant, denied that he had ever ordered a set of
stable plans from a certain architect. The latter was a young man
of very small practice who had an office but no clerks or draughtsmen.
He certainly believed with the utmost honesty that my client had
come to his office, engaged him to design a stable, and approved
an elaborate set of plans that he had drawn. When it came to paying
for them Mr. Cohen declined. The architect brought suit, and at
the trial swore to the dates and places of the interviews between
Cohen and himself, and to all the surrounding circumstances and
details connected with the execution of the plans in question.
His lawyer expected that the defendant would interpose the defense
that the plans were inferior, defective, or worthless. Not at all!
Mr. Cohen swore that he had never ordered the plans and, in fact,
had _never seen the architect in his life!_ He alleged that until
the suit was brought he had never even _heard_ of him, and that
either the architect was demented or a liar, or else some other
Cohen had given the order. The architect and his lawyer were
thunderstruck, but they had no witnesses to corroborate their
contentions, since no one had ever seen Cohen in the other's office.
The jury disagreed and the architect in some way secured Cohen's
indictment for perjury. But during the criminal trial, at which
I defended him, Mr.
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