No time for contemplation was left on my hands, however; for as soon as I had articulated the words 'ladies and gentlemen,' an offensive missile hit me between my eyes, exploded, and deluged me with an odor in comparison with which that of Limberger cheese would be mere geranium. I was betrayed. Tyre had sent over a detachment of spies, and the Sidonites were armed. I briskly dodged several companion eggs whose foulness was permitted to adorn the walls of Jones's Hall behind me, and then undertook to escape. Simultaneously with the explosion of the first shot, a howl had burst from the audience, which boded no good for any prospects of comfort and profit I might entertain. Escaping on my part became no joke; and I beg the reader to believe that my chagrin was quite overwhelmed in the all-impressive desire to protect myself from total annihilation. In my subsequent gratitude at having accomplished this feat, I overlooked the little discomforts of an eye in mourning, a broken finger, and garments perfumed throughout in defiance of _la mode_. At present, I am engaged in a business which I deem far more respectable and lucrative than lecturing, to wit, explaining the merits and advantages of a patent needle-threader to interested crowds on Broadway. Here my oratorical abilities are advantageously displayed, my audiences are attentive, and my profits are good. [_Exit Brown_] * * * * * THE WATCHWORD. 'Trust in the Lord, and keep your powder dry!' So cried stout OLIVER in the storm, before That redder rain on bloody Marston Moor, Which whelmed the flower of English chivalry. Repeat the watchword when the sullen sky Stoops with its weight of terror, while the roar Of the far thunder deepens, and no more God's gracious sunshine greets the lifted eye! Not Faith alone, but Faith with Action armed, Shall win the battle, when the anointed host Wars with the alien armies, and, unharmed, Snatch victory from a field where all seemed lost. Front Death and Danger with a level eye; Trust in the Lord, _and keep your powder dry!_ * * * * * TINTS AND TONES OF PARIS.