The Convert: Deep Waters, Part 5.Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
The Convert: Deep Waters, Part 5.
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
"It's all right for gentlemen like you," he said civilly. "But a man.
like me can't call his soul 'is own--or even 'is bedroom. Everybody
takes advantage of 'im. Nobody ever gives you a punch, and, as for
putting babies in your bedroom, they wouldn't dream of it."
He left amid expressions of general regret, turning a deaf ear to all
suggestions about making another start, and went off exulting in his
freedom.
His one trouble was Mr. Purnip, that estimable gentleman, who seemed to
have a weird gift of meeting him at all sorts of times and places, never
making any allusion to his desertion, but showing quite clearly by his
manner that he still hoped for the return of the wanderer. It was
awkward for a man of sensitive disposition, and Mr. Billing, before
entering a street, got into the habit of peering round the corner first.
He pulled up suddenly one evening as he saw his tenacious friend,
accompanied by a lady-member, some little distance ahead. Then he sprang
forward with fists clenched as a passer-by, after scowling at Mr. Purnip,
leaned forward and deliberately blew a mouthful of smoke into the face of
his companion.
Mr. Billing stopped again and stood gaping with astonishment. The
aggressor was getting up from the pavement, while Mr. Purnip, in an
absolutely correct attitude, stood waiting for him. Mr. Billing in a
glow of delight edged forward, and, with a few other fortunates, stood by
watching one of the best fights that had ever been seen in the district.
Mr. Purnip's foot-work was excellent, and the way he timed his blows made
Mr. Billing's eyes moist with admiration.
It was over at last. The aggressor went limping off, and Mr. Purnip,
wiping his bald head, picked up his battered and dusty hat from the
roadway and brushed it on his sleeve. He turned with a start and a blush
to meet the delighted gaze of Mr. Billing.
"I'm ashamed of myself," he murmured, brokenly--"ashamed."
"Ashamed !" exclaimed the amazed Mr. Billing. "Why, a pro couldn't ha'
done better."
"Such an awful example," moaned the other. "All my good work here thrown
away."
"Don't you believe it, sir," said Mr. Billing, earnestly. "As soon as
this gets about you'll get more members than you want a'most. I'm coming
back, for one."
Mr. Purnip turned and grasped his hand.
"I understand things now," said Mr. Billing, nodding sagely. "Turning
the other cheek's all right so long as you don't do it always. If you
don't let 'em know whether you are going to turn the other cheek or knock
their blessed heads off, it's all right. 'Arf the trouble in the world
is caused by letting people know too much."
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Convert, by W.W. Jacobs
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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