The Cook's Wedding and Other StoriesChekhov, Anton Pavlovich
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The Cook's Wedding and Other Stories
Chekhov, Anton Pavlovich
Chekhov, Anton Pavlovich, 1860-1904 -- Translations into English; Russia -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
So that's what "oysters" meant! I imagined to myself a creature
like a frog. A frog sitting in a shell, peeping out from it with
big, glittering eyes, and moving its revolting jaws. I imagined
this creature in a shell with claws, glittering eyes, and a slimy
skin, being brought from the market. . . . The children would all
hide while the cook, frowning with an air of disgust, would take
the creature by its claw, put it on a plate, and carry it into the
dining-room. The grown-ups would take it and eat it, eat it alive
with its eyes, its teeth, its legs! While it squeaked and tried to
bite their lips. . . .
I frowned, but . . . but why did my teeth move as though I were
munching? The creature was loathsome, disgusting, terrible, but I
ate it, ate it greedily, afraid of distinguishing its taste or
smell. As soon as I had eaten one, I saw the glittering eyes of a
second, a third . . . I ate them too. . . . At last I ate the
table-napkin, the plate, my father's goloshes, the white placard
. . . I ate everything that caught my eye, because I felt that nothing
but eating would take away my illness. The oysters had a terrible
look in their eyes and were loathsome. I shuddered at the thought
of them, but I wanted to eat! To eat!
"Oysters! Give me some oysters!" was the cry that broke from me and
I stretched out my hand.
"Help us, gentlemen!" I heard at that moment my father say, in a
hollow and shaking voice. "I am ashamed to ask but--my God!--I
can bear no more!"
"Oysters!" I cried, pulling my father by the skirts of his coat.
"Do you mean to say you eat oysters? A little chap like you!" I
heard laughter close to me.
Two gentlemen in top hats were standing before us, looking into my
face and laughing.
"Do you really eat oysters, youngster? That's interesting! How do
you eat them?"
I remember that a strong hand dragged me into the lighted restaurant.
A minute later there was a crowd round me, watching me with curiosity
and amusement. I sat at a table and ate something slimy, salt with
a flavour of dampness and mouldiness. I ate greedily without chewing,
without looking and trying to discover what I was eating. I fancied
that if I opened my eyes I should see glittering eyes, claws, and
sharp teeth.
All at once I began biting something hard, there was a sound of a
scrunching.
"Ha, ha! He is eating the shells," laughed the crowd. "Little silly,
do you suppose you can eat that?"
After that I remember a terrible thirst. I was lying in my bed, and
could not sleep for heartburn and the strange taste in my parched
mouth. My father was walking up and down, gesticulating with his
hands.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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