The Cornhill Magazine, (vol. XLI, no. 243 new series, September 1916)Various
History
The Cornhill Magazine, (vol. XLI, no. 243 new series, September 1916)
Various
England -- Periodicals; English literature -- Periodicals; Short stories, English -- Periodicals
Coming back across the fields, we lingered a little, watching the
loveliness of the early May sunset. For, looking westward, all the
land lay drenched in golden haze, which--obliterating the horizon
line--faded upward into a faint golden-green sky, across which long
webs were drawn of rose and grey. Out of the sunset a soft wind blew;
full, as it seemed, of memory and wistful invitation to--well--I know
not what. But either that wind or consciousness of our parting on the
morrow moved Nellie to open her heart to me more freely than ever
before.
‘Dear Mr. Brownlow,’ she said, her eyes still fixed on that loveliness
of sunset--‘I want to thank you now, while we are still alone, for all
you have done for me. You have, indeed, been a good physician, and I
want you to know how much better I am since you came--stronger, and
more at peace. I promise you I will do my utmost to keep the ground I
have gained, and not fall back into the unworthy state of mind out of
which you have brought me. I do not say I am cured.’
She looked up at me, smiling.
‘I do not think you would ask that of me. I have no wish to be--I
should, I think, be ashamed to be cured of--of my love. For it would
make what was most beautiful seem unreal and untrue. But I am resigned
to all--almost all--which has happened. I no longer kick against the
pricks, or ask to have things otherwise. I shall not let it make me
sour or envious--thanks to you.’
And as she spoke I read in her dear eyes a depth of innocent and
trustful affection, which was almost more than I could endure.
‘I have come to a better frame of mind,’ she said. ‘It will last. It
shall last, I promise you.’
‘Then all is well,’ I answered, haltingly.
But as I spoke her expression changed. She walked forward along the
field path, looking upon the ground.
‘Yes, all--I suppose--is well,’ she repeated. ‘All except one
thing--that hurts still.’
‘And what is that one thing?’
I thought I knew. If I was right, I had a remedy at hand--a desperate
one, perhaps, but she was firm enough to bear it now.
‘I always felt how little I had to offer, as against his position, his
gifts, and all the attractions of his life at Hover, and still more his
life in town. The wonder was he should ever have found me worth caring
for at all. But I thought his nature was deeper and more constant, and
it hurts--it must always hurt--that he should have forgotten so soon
and so entirely as she--his wife--says he has.’
‘There she lied. He has not forgotten,’ I answered. ‘Here are
Hartover’s own words.’
And I gave her the letter I received after my visit to Chelsea. Let her
learn the truth, the whole truth, as from his own lips--learn the best
and the worst of him, and so meet whatever the future might bring with
open eyes.
Some twenty yards ahead a stile and gate divided the field of spring
wheat we were crossing from the pasture beyond. I must leave Nellie to
herself. So I went on and stood, leaning my elbows on the top bar of
the gate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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