The Cornhill Magazine, (vol. XLI, no. 243 new series, September 1916) — John Shaqi
The Cornhill Magazine, (vol. XLI, no. 243 new series, September 1916)Various
History
The Cornhill Magazine, (vol. XLI, no. 243 new series, September 1916)
Various
England -- Periodicals; English literature -- Periodicals; Short stories, English -- Periodicals
‘Dear old man, dear old man,’ he said hoarsely, yet very gently,
‘forgive me. I have felt for these past twenty-four hours as though the
last foothold had gone, the last foothold between me and perdition.
But it isn’t so--you are left. Stay by me, Brownlow. See me through.
Before God, I want to do right. Your worthless pupil wants for once to
be a credit to you. But I cannot stand alone. I am afraid of myself.
I distrust my own nature. If I go to her--to Fédore--with those empty
jewel boxes of my mother’s in my hand and she lies to me, I shall want
to kill her. And if she tells we what I can’t but believe is the truth,
I shall want to blow my own brains out. For she has been very much to
me. She is my wife--and what can the future hold for either of us but
estrangement, misery and disgrace?’
He waited, steadied his voice, and then--
‘I know it is no small thing I ask of you; but will you come back to
town with me to-morrow? And will you see her first, and so give me time
to get myself in hand and decide what is to be done, before she and I
meet? Will you stand between me and the devils of revenge and despair
who tempt me? Will you do this because--barring you, Brownlow--I have
nothing, no one, left?’
Needless to set down here what I answered. He should have his way. How,
in God’s name, could I refuse him?
Then, as on that first night of my arrival at Hover long ago, I got him
away to bed. Sat by him till he slept--at first restlessly, feverishly,
murmuring to himself; and once--it cut me to the quick--calling Fédore
by name, as one who calls for help in limitless distress.
The brief summer night was over and the dawn breaking before I felt
free to leave him, seek my room, and take some much-needed rest.
(_To be continued._)
FOOTNOTES:
[1] Copyright by Messrs. Smith, Elder & Co. in the United
States of America.
_LEST WE FORGET._
_A WORD ON WAR MEMORIALS._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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